ATOMIC BLONDE (2017)

July 30, 2017

 Greetings again from the darkness. David Leitch has taken the rare Hollywood career path of stuntman-to-director. His expertise in fight scenes is beyond reproach as evidenced by his limited work on JOHN WICK (2014), and in his helming this heavily promoted, style over substance summer action film masquerading as a spy thriller. Kurt Johnstad (300) adapted Antony Johnston and Sam Hart’s graphic novel “The Coldest City”, and in collaboration with director Leitch and the ultra-talented Charlize Theron, has created some of the most brutal, bone-crunching and violent fight scenes ever seen on screen.

Ms. Theron stars as Lorraine, an MI6 agent whose life-sustaining nourishment is apparently derived from Stoli on the rocks and an endless supply of cigarettes. The opening scene features a naked Lorraine submerged in an ice cube bath seeking relief for her bruised and battered body. She then heads to an official debriefing by her supervisor (Toby Jones) and a CIA officer (John Goodman); they want details on what went wrong with her most recent mission. Those details come through flashbacks of Lorraine’s trip to Berlin to investigate the murder of a fellow agent and the stolen list of all agents. It’s 1989, and the Cold War concern is that the list falls into the hands of the KGB, immediately placing all agents and missions in peril.

With the recurring backdrop of President Reagan exhorting Mr. Gorbachev to “tear down that wall”, the film in no way employs the clever clandestine strategies of the TV series “The Americans”, or even slightly resembles international espionage classics like TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY or THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR. Instead, whatever plot lines or MacGuffins exist have one sole purpose: generate another fight scene for Lorraine.

Stairwells, kitchen utensils, a skateboard, water hoses, car keys and a corkscrew all have their moments (no, it’s not a Jackie Chan movie), as do a couple of car chase sequences. Ms. Theron is a physical marvel (she performed most of her own stunts) as she takes on numerous adversaries in various locations all while sporting more fashionable black & white outfits (with coordinated stilettos) than we can count. She has proven many times (MAD MAX: FURY ROAD, NORTH COUNTRY, MONSTER) that she is much more than a pretty face, and this is her most grueling role to date.

This is undoubtedly Charlize’s show, and supporting work is provided by an underutilized James McAvoy (fresh off of SPLIT) as the rebellious Berlin station agent, Eddie Marsan as a German Stasi known as Spyglass, James Faulkner as MI6 Chief, Roland Moller as the Soviet Bremovych, the always-cool Til Schweiger as the watchmaker, and Bill Skarsgard (Pennywise in the upcoming IT remake). Sofia Boutella plays the wonderfully named Delphine LaSalle, a French agent who, like most of the human race, is attracted to Ms. Theron/Lorraine.

Though it’s understandable we don’t get to see much of Berlin, the soundtrack continually reminds us that we are in 1989 thanks to music from such varied artists as David Bowie, Public Enemy, Nena, The Clash, Depeche Mode and A Flock of Seagulls. There is even a throwback clip from MTV making a crack about the ethics of sampling, and Cinematographer Jonathan Sela’s background in music videos works perfectly for the flash cut action segments.

A more intricate and full-bodied story tied to the international espionage of the Cold War could have elevated the film to a more elite status; however, it immediately becomes one of the top female-led action films and features some of the most impressive and fun to watch cinematic fight scenes ever. Next up for director Leitch is Deadpool 2, so we will soon find out if he can inject humor into his expert action.

watch the trailer:

 

 

 


THIS MEANS WAR

February 20, 2012

 Greetings again from the darkness. Well it’s mid-February and the hope is that this is the worst movie I will sit through all year. It’s a waste of talent and utterly senseless … which would be fine if it happened to be funny. Somehow the writers and director manage to mash-up a spy thriller, action film, buddy film, and romantic comedy into something that is none of those and a slap in the face of the viewers.

This one is directed by McG, whose first two theatrical films were Charlie’s Angels and Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, both of which had more and better action sequences than this (that says plenty). It stars three very attractive people in Chris Pine, Tom Hardy and Reese Witherspoon. Their job is to continue to look attractive, sparkly eyes and all, in each progressively more absurd scene. Chelsea Handler is tossed in as Witherspoon’s married friend, who doles out horrible and trashy dating advice in what sounds like a lousy stand-up comedy routine. Angela Bassett, a normally fine actress, is totally out of place in her couple of scenes as the always-angry boss. Til Schweiger (Inglourious Basterds) is totally wasted as the generic bad guy.

 The movie bookends two lackluster action sequences that make little sense and are not much to look at. In between, we have two best buddy co-worker spies competing for the affections of the same girl, who is taking advice from her nasty, jealous friend. All of that is done with little action, no suspense, minimal comedy and absolutely no logical sense. Did I mention that the three leads are all very attractive? One of the minor details that really irritated me was a scene in a giant video store where Pine and Witherspoon are debating the hierarchy of Hitchcock films. In and of itself, that would be fine. But this conversation takes place in front of a display of multiple copies of Hitchcock’s The Lady Vanishes. Multiple copies. In a video store. Probably more copies than Amazon has in stock. Throw in an escalating series of outlandish dates, a multi-million dollar bachelor pad for Pine (what is the salary for a 30 yr old spy?), buddy dialogue that makes Riggs & Murtaugh or Tango & Cash sound like Lincoln and Douglas.

This is evidently supposed to be an action flick for chicks. There is gunfire, muscles and childlike banter coming from two attractive spies who both love the attractive woman who is desperate to be loved. This means flop.

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you don’t believe it could be this bad

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: you prefer not to pay $9 for a nap

watch the trailer (knowing that these are the “good” parts):


THE THREE MUSKATEERS (2011)

October 25, 2011

 Greetings again from the darkness. The trailer told me all I need to know, but my life-long interest in all things related to the Alexandre Dumas novel had me ignoring my movie gut instincts and heading out to catch this latest version of the Muskateer saga. Since then, I have been telling myself “I told you so“.

Logan Lerman (Percy Jackson & the Olympians) plays the young, brash D’Artagnian, son of a former Muskateer. Lerman may develop into a fine actor someday, but right now he is as bland on screen as Orlando Bloom, who happens to play rival Duke of Buckingham. Athos, Aramis and Porthos are played, respectively, by Matthew Macfadyen (Pride & Prejudice), Luke Evans (Tamara Drewe) and Ray Stevenson (Volstagg in Thor). No need for me to go into character detail as none make any real impression thanks to a lackluster script.

 The boys are a bit out of sorts after being tricked by double-agent Milady, played by Milla Jovovich, who apparently is really working for the conniving Cardinal played by Christoph Waltz. Mads Mikkelsen plays Rochefort, the evil army leader and master swordsman, but somehow even with Waltz and Mikkelsen, this film is just lacking in bad guy substance.  How does that possibly happen?

Director Paul W.S. Anderson is known best for his Resident Evil film series and his love of special effects is on full display here. There were scenes that reminded me of Will Smith’s Wild Wild West, and others that looked like Robert Downey, Jr’s Sherlock Holmes. If you love the Dumas novel, you just cringed after reading that sentence. The key to the Muskateers is swashbuckling and sharp, sarcastic wit surrounding wild and athletic sword play, all performed for an honorable mission.  There is just not much wit to enjoy and that’s compounded by a dearth of swords clinking.

 In addition to a more colorful script, some suggestions for improvement include casting Charlie Sheen (he is a Muskateer alum) as the Duke of Buckingham, easing up on the buffoonery associated with King Louis XIII, and more evil-doing from Waltz and Mikkelson.  It’s not the first movie in which I have disappointed, and it certainly won’t be the last. It’s just frustrating because … I told me so!

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you are a fan of the Muskateers and, like me, have a genetic need to see every film version of the Dumas story.

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: the idea of a lead actor matching the Bloom blandness is just more than you can possibly take.

watch the trailer: