THE TRANSPORTER REFUELED (2015)

September 3, 2015

transporter Greetings again from the darkness. Hollywood loves the sequel, spin-off, and re-boot because the required level of creativity drops significantly when the characters, ideas and audience already exist. This “safe” approach to filmmaking doesn’t work so well when the franchise heavily depends on a particular actor. You might be able to find a new Superman (that cape absorbs much of the burden), but it’s much riskier to replace Jason Statham in the role that led to his breakout in 2002.

Game of Thrones” fans (and no one else) will recognize Ed Skrein. He left that hit series to take on this starring role as the skilled driver Frank Martin, who never changes a deal and always delivers the goods (and beats the crap out of people, and destroys fleets of police cars). Late in this film, we do notice that Mr. Skrein must have quietly lifted some GOT props, as one of the more preposterous fight scenes features Viking-type weaponry aboard a multi-million dollar yacht. For most films, that would easily rank as the clear jump the shark moment, but director Camille Delamarre seems to have no regulator on his appetite for outlandish stunts and scenes.

Mr. Skrein is very clearly one fit young man. However, his slipping into Statham’s driver’s seat leaves a void in charm and street cred. We never buy into his ability to go up against nasty Russian mobsters, though he does strikes the necessary fashion poses in scenes with the four rebellious prostitutes … led by Anna (Loan Chabanol). Unfortunately, Ms. Chabanol’s character looks like a knock-off of Gina Gershon and is performed at the level of Ms. Gershon’s Showgirls co-star Elizabeth Berkley (insert groan and dread here).

The highlights of the film are Ray Stevenson, who plays Frank’s dad; the French Riviera locale; and the over-the-top action and stunt sequences – many with (I choose to believe) purposefully humorous touches. Mr. Stevenson furnishes the only personal charm and wit, while also being easily the most interesting character – one we wish we knew more about. The France backdrop is not utilized to its fullest, but there are enough beautiful shots that prevent us from ever feeling ‘soundstage syndrome’. As for the action sequences, two of the most fun include a jet bridge and jet ski … unrelated, but both elicit audience reactions. If the airport scene isn’t quite far-fetched enough for you, perhaps this sequence will impress you: girl gets shot, nearly bleeds to death, is saved by spider-webs, joins in threesome.

There is an ongoing attempt to tie this to “The Three Musketeers” story, but the gag mostly falls flat, as does most of the story. And by “story”, it’s defined here as: car chases, big booms, fight scenes, fancy clothes, sex scenes, car crashes (the effects of car chases), wigs as disguises, dance club girl-on-girl kisses, gun shots, fancy yacht and private jet. One thing that stands out … all of the female characters are prostitutes, albeit victims of sex-trafficking by the Russians. It’s their plan for revenge that drives the story – moreso than the actual driver (of the title). Luc Besson was behind the first three Transporter movies, and he co-wrote and produced this latest. He clearly loves the character, as he has already announced plans for the 5th and 6th entries into the franchise.  One may assume that I’ll park elsewhere.

watch the trailer:

 

 


THOR: THE DARK WORLD (2013)

November 12, 2013

thor3 Greetings again from the darkness. While this is the second Thor movie, we feel a bit more familiar with the Norse God thanks to The Avengers. It’s not surprising that Chris Hemsworth can hold his own with the character given his looks and physicality, but this time he gets a run for his money thanks to Tom Hiddleston as Loki. (not my favorite part of the first one).

The film’s official villain is Malekith (Christopher Eccleston) who rules the Dark Elves and is trying to re-capture the all-powerful Aether, a substance of infinite energy. But the whole battle for the 9 realms is really just a sideline to Thor vs Loki, and Thor’s touch of humanity and eye for Jane Foster (Natalie Portman). Most of the key characters are back: Anthony Hopkins as Odin (even more over the top this time), Rene Russo (Thor’s mom), Ray thor2Stevenson as Volstagg, Jaimie Alexander (Sif), Idris Elba (Heimdall), Kat Dennings (Darcy), and Stellan Skarsgard (Erik Selvig).

This sequel is kind of interesting to analyze. It’s certainly bigger than the original … the special effects are huge and much improved. Light comic moments abound, but luckily the snark from Kat Dennings is minimal. Chris O’Dowd shows up for a couple of pretty funny, but slightly out of place scenes. There are a couple of cameos including an off-beat appearance by one of the The Avengers. Rene Russo even gets her own sword fight! Though it matters not to me, I assume there are many who would choose a Skarsgard other than Stellan to run around Stonehenge sans clothes. So while it has all of that going for it, the story often fails at engaging the audience.

thor4 This one is directed by Alan Taylor, who is quite a successful TV director, and there was clearly some upfront concern over the script as Joss Whedon was brought in for scene doctoring. I believe what we learn is that the fish out of water story works when Thor is on Earth, but it loses impact when Jane Foster visits Asgard. Still, Tom Hiddleston is such fun to watch as Loki, that none of that really matters.

It’s a superhero movie that will entertain the fans and provide plenty of ammunition for the critics looking to bash. If you see it in the theatre, you should know to stay for BOTH post-movie scenes. A rare Benecio Del Toro sighting makes it worthwhile.

SEE THIS MOVIE IF:  you are a fan of the Marvel comics and the corresponding films … and know that there are many more to come!

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: you are rational human being unwilling to spend time on the superhero fantasy world.  Just know that there are many more to come!

***SPOILER ALERT***

If you are interested in the Benecio Del Toro character, then continue reading.  If you prefer to be surprised, then please stop reading now.

Del Toro plays The Collector in the final scene.  Expect an expanded role for Guardians of the Galaxy.  The Collector is millions of years old and is a pre-Cognitive (he sees the future).  He collects items and beings of real power.  At the end of Thor: The Dark World, he takes possession of Aether and states “One down, five to go“. There are six gems of color in this universe and possession brings ultimate power.  Expect more to come in future Marvel films.


THE THREE MUSKATEERS (2011)

October 25, 2011

 Greetings again from the darkness. The trailer told me all I need to know, but my life-long interest in all things related to the Alexandre Dumas novel had me ignoring my movie gut instincts and heading out to catch this latest version of the Muskateer saga. Since then, I have been telling myself “I told you so“.

Logan Lerman (Percy Jackson & the Olympians) plays the young, brash D’Artagnian, son of a former Muskateer. Lerman may develop into a fine actor someday, but right now he is as bland on screen as Orlando Bloom, who happens to play rival Duke of Buckingham. Athos, Aramis and Porthos are played, respectively, by Matthew Macfadyen (Pride & Prejudice), Luke Evans (Tamara Drewe) and Ray Stevenson (Volstagg in Thor). No need for me to go into character detail as none make any real impression thanks to a lackluster script.

 The boys are a bit out of sorts after being tricked by double-agent Milady, played by Milla Jovovich, who apparently is really working for the conniving Cardinal played by Christoph Waltz. Mads Mikkelsen plays Rochefort, the evil army leader and master swordsman, but somehow even with Waltz and Mikkelsen, this film is just lacking in bad guy substance.  How does that possibly happen?

Director Paul W.S. Anderson is known best for his Resident Evil film series and his love of special effects is on full display here. There were scenes that reminded me of Will Smith’s Wild Wild West, and others that looked like Robert Downey, Jr’s Sherlock Holmes. If you love the Dumas novel, you just cringed after reading that sentence. The key to the Muskateers is swashbuckling and sharp, sarcastic wit surrounding wild and athletic sword play, all performed for an honorable mission.  There is just not much wit to enjoy and that’s compounded by a dearth of swords clinking.

 In addition to a more colorful script, some suggestions for improvement include casting Charlie Sheen (he is a Muskateer alum) as the Duke of Buckingham, easing up on the buffoonery associated with King Louis XIII, and more evil-doing from Waltz and Mikkelson.  It’s not the first movie in which I have disappointed, and it certainly won’t be the last. It’s just frustrating because … I told me so!

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you are a fan of the Muskateers and, like me, have a genetic need to see every film version of the Dumas story.

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: the idea of a lead actor matching the Bloom blandness is just more than you can possibly take.

watch the trailer: