ALL THAT BREATHES (2022, doc)

December 12, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. The expert photography and artistic approach taken by Shaunak Sen in his documentary is quite something to behold, even as the message may be a bit heavy-handed. His opening shot perfectly captures all of this, as a sea of rats scrounges for food through the trash while the headlights of an approaching car drive home the point that it’s the humans who have thrown things out of balance.

Most of the film is focused on two brothers, Nadeem and Saud, who have dedicated much of their lives to wildlife rescue … especially as it relates to Kite Birds. Now you may consider yourself a nature lover and even an environmentalist, but these two have reportedly treated over 20,000 birds. That’s what I mean by dedication!

Documentarian Sen has crafted a film that is simultaneously neither and both a nature and climate change film. New Delhi is one of the world’s most overpopulated and polluted cities. The film is meant to remind us that all creatures must breathe the same air, and when that air is so bad that birds drop from the sky, it can be assumed that the other beings of the area – people, rats, dogs, cows, pigs, mosquitoes – are also being negatively impacted.

These brothers believe that their efforts may have a spiritual or religious payoff, but mostly they believe one should make the difference they are able to make, even if that difference is to the Kite birds flying above. We also understand that it’s humans who have corrupted the air and land, and are the force behind wars being fought. Despite all, it’s nature that persists, even if society may not. Sen’s film may be a bit long, but he ensures all viewers understand.

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THE WOMAN KING (2022)

December 11, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. I’m a little late on this one as I try to catch up with viewings for year-end lists and voting. From the opening scene, director Gina Prince-Bythewood (LOVE AND BASKETBALL, 2000) establishes the skill and intimidation of the Agojie, an elite force of female soldiers in the Dahomey Kingdom of West Africa. The year is 1823 and the warriors are led by their General, Nanisca (Oscar winner Viola Davis, FENCES, 2016), a fierce leader who also has the ear (figuratively speaking) of Ghezo (John Boyega), the new king.

The film is based on historical facts, but also takes a great deal of dramatic license in its story telling. Actress Maria Bello developed the story, and the screenplay was written by Dana Stevens (FOR LOVE OF THE GAME, 1999). Dahomey’s riches come from its slave trade, and its way of life is being threatened by it’s enemy, the Oyo Empire … for whom Nanisca holds a personal hatred. Nanisca recommends transitioning to the sale of palm oil, while Shante (Jayme Lawson, TILL, 2022), the power-hungry wife of the King, promotes further expanding their successful slave trade.

Nanisca loses many soldiers in that initial battle and must quickly train a new group of recruits. One of these is Nawi (Thuso Mbedu, “The Underground Railroad”), an obstinate young girl who rebels against her father’s wishes and finds herself ‘gifted’ to the kingdom. Izogie (an excellent Lashana Lynch, NO TIME TO DIE, 2021) takes on the role of training and mentoring Nawi, and the two form a strong bond. The trading of slaves plays a part in this version of the story, yet somehow it feels minimized in the interest of playing to the mainstream and ensuring Ms. Davis’s character appears heroic and appealing throughout … even with the twist, that won’t really surprise anyone.

What I find most interesting is that Viola Davis is garnering much attention for another Best Actress Oscar nomination, yet it’s Thuso Mbedu whom I would claim is the lead in the film, and certainly a more interesting character. The King’s Guard (the Agojie) are remarkably fit and the battle scenes are well orchestrated … and Nanisca has one of the best fight/attack yells of all time. The film is large in scale and likely owes a bit of gratitude to the success of the Black Panther movies for the enhanced budget. In the end, we can certainly appreciate Ms. Davis’s strong General, though it’s Ms. Mbedu who looks to be the one to watch in the coming years.

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THE WHALE (2022)

December 10, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. Brendan Fraser deserves an Oscar nomination. There’s a sentence I never even imagined writing. If you recall (and you are excused if you don’t), Mr. Fraser’s early acting career is noted for such ‘prestige’ films as ENCINO MAN (1992), GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE (1997), DUDLEY DO-RIGHT (1999), and BEDAZZLED (2000). And yes, I’m being a bit unfair in the films I chose to name, as he has also had some solid performances along the way. However, nothing on his resume could have prepared us for what he delivers on screen in this latest from director Darren Aronofsky (BLACK SWAN, 2010).

Award-winning playwright Samuel D Hunter adapted his own play for the big screen, and it’s one that will surely drag you down and pound your emotions, even as it mesmerizes you. We first hear Charlie’s (Fraser) soothing voice as he addresses the online college writing class he teaches. We see the students’ faces on his laptop, but Charlie’s square is blacked out. He explains the camera on his laptop is still “broken”. Class ends and Charlie’s friend Liz (a terrific Hong Chau, “Watchmen”) shows up to read his blood pressure at 238/134. Charlie is a massive human being, barely mobile, and nearing death.

Liz is also a nurse and tends to Charlie in a sense of loyalty and caring through their friendship … the origin of which we learn later in the story. Thomas (Ty Simpkins, JURASSIC WORLD, 2015), who says he’s a missionary from New Life Ministries, knocks on the door as Charlie is in medical distress. Liz treats Thomas as an intruder and demands he leave, while Charlie remains civil to him. Given his ticking clock, Charlie reaches out to his teenage daughter Ellie (Sadie Sink, “Stranger Things”). The two haven’t seen each other in the years since Charlie left for a new lover. To say that Ellie has pent-up rage and anger directed at her long-lost dad would be understating the situation. She blows into his apartment like a tornado, spewing venom towards Charlie. They do come to an arrangement that entices her to return to visit while he agrees to assist with her delinquent school assignments.

Almost the entirety of the story takes place in about 300 square feet of the upstairs apartment Charlie is confined to. The tight space adds tension to every interaction between the four characters, including Charlie’s ex-wife Mary (Samantha Morton, IN AMERICA, one of my favorite forgotten gems from 20 years ago). Brendan Fraser uses his eyes to convey so many thoughts, even as we turn in disgust at his eating habits. An excellent score from Rob Simonsen and expert camera work from cinematographer Matthew Libatique complement the stunning performance from Fraser, and the numerous moments of intense tension and emotional turmoil. There are only a few times throughout where the live stage source material sticks out, and the ending is handled beautifully, allowing us a respite from the emotional rollercoaster of the past two hours.

Now showing in theaters

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GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S PINOCCHIO (2022)

December 9, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. Looking for someone to create the opposite of a whimsical childhood fairy tale? The obvious answer is filmmaker Guillermo del Toro (an Oscar winner). He has built his career on delivering dark thrillers that dig into the recesses of our nightmares (PAN’S LABRYNTH, THE SHAPE OF WATER). In fact, he’s a master of this, which makes his vision of Carlo Callodi’s 1883 book a must see. GDT shares a director credit with animation expert Mark Gustafson (FANTASTIC MR FOX, 2009) and screenwriting credit with Patrick McHale. Matthew Robbins has a ‘screen story’ credit, and of course it all links back to Callodi’s source material.

From scene one we immediately sense the different approach than both the light-hearted Disney animated classic from 1940 and Robert Zemeckis’ sentimental live-action version starring Tom Hanks released just a few months ago. It’s darker and gloomier with a unique stop-action look saturated in browns. We also recognize that GDT has chosen a different timeline, as the effects of one of the last WWI bombs takes the life of Geppetto’s beloved young son, Carlo, and Mussolini and fascism are referenced throughout the story.

Everyone knows the story, and the core remains intact – though GDT adds his special touches and twists. One night, a drunken grieving woodcrafter carves a wooden puppet. As Geppetto sleeps it off, the Wood Sprite brings the puppet to life, and just like that, Pinocchio is born and Geppetto has his new son. Another unexpected twist is how much of the film is musical with song lyrics and music by del Toro and the film’s composer, two-time Oscar winner Alexandre Desplat. But don’t mistake songs for an upbeat movie. It’s still dark and bleak, and of course, GDT nails the sea beast whose belly houses Geppetto and Mr. Cricket in the most thrilling segment.

Young Gregory Mann voices Pinocchio and Carlo, Ewan McGregor voices Sebastian J Cricket, and David Bradley is Geppetto. Beyond that, the all-star voice cast features Ron Perlman, John Turturro, Finn Wolfhard, Cate Blanchett, Tim Blake Nelson, Christoph Waltz, Tilda Swinton, and Burn Gorman. No one does fantasy-horror better than Guillermo del Toro, and even with his first foray into animation, delivers a unique look and spin on a familiar story. He even makes it easy to pick up on the Frankenstein (the Mary Shelley novel) influence, so I’ll say it again … don’t mistake this for the family-friendly Disney fare you grew up on.

Opens in theaters and Netflix on December 9, 2022

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EMPIRE OF LIGHT (2022)

December 9, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. Writer-director Sam Mendes won an Oscar for AMERICAN BEAUTY (1999), and has directed other popular movies, including ROAD TO PERDITION (2002) and a couple of James Bond films: SPECTRE (2015) and SKYFALL (2012). This is his first movie since the 3-Oscar winning war film 1917 (2019), and it’s a project that seems designed for Mendes to proclaim his love of movies and belief in movie magic. However, a funny thing happened on the way to movie magic … a movie about mental health, racism, and the Margaret Thatcher era broke out.

By now we’ve all realized that a movie starring Olivia Colman (Oscar winner for THE FAVOURITE, 2018) features at least one outstanding performance. Here, she delivers as Hilary, a theater manager who doesn’t watch movies, and is in therapy for some type of breakdown that occurred over the past year. Her smile for the customers isn’t always able to hide her depression and mood swings – and neither are the ‘quickie’ meetings the married theater owner, Mr. Ellis (Oscar winner Colin Firth, THE KING’S SPEECH, 2010), calls when the urge strikes. Her vulnerability and solitude are on full display.

The closeness of the theater staff is evident by the time new employee, Stephen (Michael Ward), shows up. He brings a spark, along with an ambition for advanced education, and he and Hilary hit it off immediately. Romance blossoms between the odd couple, and we soon learn Stephen has grown accustomed to facing racism, while Hilary seems oblivious to such things happening in the world. Empire Cinema is located on the seaside boardwalk, and the plush lobby is coated in heavy red velvet and adorned with sparkling brass fixtures. The timeframe is evident from the theater’s movie posters: BLUES BROTHERS, ALL THAT JAZZ, STIR CRAZY, etc.

The closed off screens 3 and 4 and the upper-level abandoned ballroom act as the rendezvous spot for Hilary and Stephen, while fireworks and a New Year’s rooftop kiss bring joy and excitement into Hilary’s life. The always interesting Toby Jones plays old school projectionist Norman, and he helps explain the second meaning of the film’s title when he describes the beam of light that flashes through the 24 frames/second of film. He terms that beam of light an “escape”, which is how so many view the movies.

Hilary’s history of schizophrenia and depression and lithium treatment mean that smooth sailing will not last for her. A street riot spills over into the theater and the scene shifts to the local hospital, where another character is introduced – one that might have added quite a bit to the story if expanded. Mendes chooses an odd approach to paying tribute to cinema, even when Hilary does finally realize the magic in a scene that recalls CINEMA PARADISO (although Hal Ashby’s gem BEING THERE is what she watches). Cinematographer extraordinaire and two-time Oscar winner Roger Deakins proves yet again how his work can elevate a film, as does the score from Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross (the Oscar winning composers).

Mendes chooses a restrained presentation, and though many of us believe in that feeling of elation associated with movies, no one believes movie magic is a cure for anything as serious as mental illness or racism. There are some terrific individual scenes that work better than the movie as a whole, but it’s unclear whether the film needed to be shorter, longer, or just better constructed.

Opens in theaters on December 9, 2022

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EMANCIPATION (2022)

December 9, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. Persistence. It’s the word used to describe “runners” by the man known for tracking the slaves who try to escape the abusive treatment and back-breaking work of plantations. However, the word can also be used to describe how the movie industry ‘persists’ in bringing us stories about how white slave owners created a brutal environment for black slaves. We really do get it. The history is awful and the treatment is inexcusable. It’s just difficult to understand how more movies are going to make any difference in what happened 150 years ago.

Steve McQueen’s 12 YEARS A SLAVE was released in 2013 and won the Oscar for Best Picture. In that film, Solomon Northrup was a free man dragged into slavery. In this film, Peter (Oscar winner Will Smith, KING RICHARD) has never known freedom, but fights for it. Both are based on true stories, and the biggest difference is in the scripts. The first was a terrific script that established many characters and told a remarkable tale. This latest film focuses too much on action pieces (a specialty of director Antoine Fuqua, TRAINING DAY,2001), and really boils down to two distinct segments: a chase scene and a battlefield. While thrilling to watch, neither segment delivers anything near the emotional heft of McQueen’s movie.

Will Smith spent decades carefully cultivating an image of a nice guy playing characters that were easy to root for. All of that recently changed in the blink of a slap. This first role since that stunning on stage event seems designed to get his career and reputation back in line. Peter is a man-of-faith, a beloved family man, and a lifelong slave from Haiti. When he is separated from his wife Dodienne (Charmaine Bingwa) and kids in order to go build a railroad for the confederate army, he vows to return to them. Not long after, he overhears that President Lincoln has freed the slaves, and so he plans his escape. As a “runner”, he is tracked by Jim Fassell, played with the cold, steely eyes of Ben Foster. Foster is mostly relegated to riding a horse and following his dogs, but he does get one campfire scene to explain the racism he was born into.

The cat and mouse game of life and death between pursuer and runaway takes up more than half of the film’s run time, and most of it sloshes through the swamps of Louisiana. Snakes, gators, injuries, and the challenges of water all present obstacles for Peter to complete his journey to Baton Rouge, without being killed. The story (written by Bill Collage) has been drawn from the infamous “Whipped Peter” photo that was used to bring the atrocities of slavery to the masses, and has since appeared in many history books. It’s recreated here in a short scene, one that probably deserved a bit more screen time. As for the Civil War battlefield, it continues the fantastic work of cinematographer Robert Richardson, a three-time Oscar winner. In fact, the entire film is a work of visual art, filmed in what has the look of black and white, with only splashes of muted color for effect. For those seeking another film on slavery, you’d be hard pressed to find a better looking one than this. Just don’t expect it to dig deep for meaning.

The film will have a limited theatrical run and opens on AppleTV+ on December 9, 2022

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THE FABELMANS (2022)

December 4, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. For most of us movie lovers, Steven Spielberg has been at the forefront of our cinema experiences since the mid-1970s. He has won 3 Oscars (along with 20 nominations) while delivering such classics and memorable films as: JAWS (1975), CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977), the “Indiana Jones” franchise (1981, 1984, 1989, 2008), E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982), THE COLOR PURPLE (1985), JURRASIC PARK (1993), SCHINDLER’S LIST (1993), SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (1998), MINORITY REPORT (2002), CATCH ME IF YOU CAN (2002), LINCOLN (2012), and WEST SIDE STORY (2021). Remarkably, that’s a partial list of his films and doesn’t take into account others that he’s directed or produced, or his commitment to preserving film history. Despite (or perhaps because of) his diverse catalog of films, Spielberg always manages to find the human element while entertaining us. In fact, some have criticized him for putting too much emphasis on entertainment, as if that is somehow a problem.

As you likely know, this latest (co-written with his frequent collaborator Tony Kushner), is Spielberg’s look back at his own childhood, his family, and his early obsession with making movies. It’s a semi-autobiographical case study of the early development of one of our most influential and prolific and popular filmmakers … with some dramatic license taken for entertainment purposes, of course. Michelle Williams and Paul Dano star as Mitzi and Burt Fabelman, parents to four children, including Sam Fabelman (the stand-in for Steven). Mitzi is a former concert pianist who gave up her career to be a mom and wife, while Burt is a brilliant engineer working on the cusp of the computer age – this story begins just after WWII.

Most of us remember our first movie in a theater. This film opens with parents Mitzi and Burt taking young Sam to his first: Cecil B DeMille’s THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH (1952). This opening scene perfectly sets the stage. Engineer Dad details to his anxious son that movies are nothing more than lighting and still images being shown at 24 images per second, while artist mom assures him that movies are “dreams” (or as we interpret, “the stuff that dreams are made of”). It’s this contrast between mom and dad that has such an impact on Sam and the family, and we see this as they follow Burt’s career progression from New Jersey to Arizona to California. Mom encourages and supports Sam’s interest in filmmaking, while dad continually belittles it as nothing more than a hobby.

Gabriel LaBelle plays Sam as a teenager, and not only does he deliver a terrific performance, he also bears a striking resemblance to young Spielberg (the similarity startled me at first). Seth Rogen has a role as Bennie, a friend to the family – especially to Mitzi We see Sam’s struggles as a high schooler facing bullies and antisemitism for being a nerdy, non-athletic Jew, as well as the challenges he faces with his own family, and in a touching sequence, with first love. Two scenes involving non-immediate family members really stand out. Uncle Boris (an energetic Judd Hirsch) comes to visit and explains how his lion-taming is an art form that he felt compelled to pursue, and that he sees that same artistic streak in Sam … while perfectly explaining how art and family ties can tug against each other, yet the artistic pursuit must never be forsaken. Another excellent scene occurs when Sam has a short meeting with a legendary director (a memorable cameo from director David Lynch) who offers a filmmaking tip that provides the film’s final shot gag.

As strong as LaBelle is as Sam, it’s Michelle Williams who truly shines in a complex role that is easily one of the best of the year. She’s an artist who knows she’s trapped and struggles to make the best of thing. – right up until she can no longer do so. Brigning a pet monkey home is usually a good indicator that someone has reached their limit. Her depression and internal chaos lead to a break in the family, but in a way, serves to drive Sam forward in his pursuit of filmmaking. The great John Williams provides the score (of course), while cinematographer Janusz Kaminski delivers masterful images. It’s rare for an (wildly successful) artist to open up about his family, his past, and his influences. Even though each scene and line of dialogue here has Spielberg’s stamp of approval, there remains a vulnerability in pulling back the curtain for others. We do see how so much of life goes into the work of an artist, and how the pursuit of a passion may or may not lead to happiness. Spielberg proves yet again when it comes to history and legend, print the legend.

***Note: the film leads us to believe that Spielberg stayed away from working in television, but in reality, he directed quite a few TV episodes, and his first movie was a made-for-TV movie entitled, DUEL … one I highly recommend.

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NANNY (2022)

December 2, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. The first feature film from writer-director Nikyatu Jusu is a supernatural psychological thriller that may or may not belong in the horror genre. It’s filled with original concepts, innovative camera shots, and a truly powerful lead performance. Despite all it has going for it, the film never quite gels for us, instead creating a bit of confusion as to whether it was trying to make a point or not.

Anna Diop (US, 2019) stars as Aisha. She seizes the role from her first scene and never relinquishes control. Aisha is an immigrant from Senegal who has come to the United States for a better life. She left her son behind in the home country until she can send for him. Aisha is educated and overqualified for the domestic help job she takes for a couple in a swanky Manhattan apartment. However, she’s committed to doing what she must to reunite with her son Lamine, whom she sees on FaceTime. Rose (Rose Spector) is the young girl she is hired to look after, and her parents are Amy (Michelle Monaghan), an anxiety-filled working mom trying to ascend the corporate ladder, and Adam (Morgan Spector), a photojournalist who thinks he can relate to Aisha’s background. Amy and Adam have a strained relationship, and neither seems keen to be a parent to Rose.

We witness Aisha’s ease with Rose, as well as the tension she has with Amy and Adam who seem to take advantage of her in every possible way – including slow payment, cheating her on hours worked, last minute schedule changes, and even invading her personal space. All of this builds in Aisha to the point where her dreams/nightmares/daydreams become a real issue. Water is featured heavily, and we initially relate this to her feeling like she is drowning in the frustrating situation. However soon African folklore enters with spiders and mermaids, and the visions become more alarming. We realize the water has more significance.

The use of color is startling. Aisha’s workplace (the apartment) is washed out gray with cold stone surfaces, while her personal time features vibrant primary colors and music. A sweet romance with Malik (Sinqua Walls), the doorman, provides Aisha with hope. Unfortunately, the psychological character study that has been building through most of the film turns to mostly horror in the final act. The film excels, as does Ms. Diop, when the stress and tension and frustrations of the real world are in the forefront. Still, despite the often bumpy storylines, Aisha’s character and the visuals in the film provide high expectations for Nikyatu Jusu as a filmmaker, and announces Anna Diop as a true leading actor.

Opens on December 2, 2022

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WHITE NOISE (2022)

December 2, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. Writer-director Noah Baumbach’s latest film is one of those that causes us to feel a bit guilty at not finding it as important or noble as it finds itself. That’s not meant to be as critical as it sounds. Afterall, Baumbach is the one who has managed to bring the “unfilmable” … Don DeLillo’s 1985 novel (National Book Award for fiction) … to the big screen. Baumbach’s last film was MARRIAGE STORY (2019), a masterpiece on relationships, and while this current film is a more ambitious undertaking, it likely will prove less accessible to many viewers.

Adam Driver stars as Jack Gladney, a professor at a (fictitious) midwestern college, who has reached celebrity status through his Hitler studies curriculum – although he remains uneasy at his own inability to speak German. Jack’s own home life teeters on bedlam most every day. He and his wife Babbette (Greta Gerwig, director Baumbach’s real life spouse) are both on their fourth marriage, and their blended family of kids results in tension and more overlapping dialogue than one would find in a filled sports arena. Babbette is showing signs of early onset dementia, and is regularly and secretly taking a drug called Dylar. Of course, it’s the 1980’s and Google hasn’t been born, so Jack and Babbette’s daughter Denise (Raffey Cassidy) find themselves scouring books and asking doctors about the mysterious drug.

There are some amazing lines (most taken straight from DeLillo’s novel) throughout the film, and Act 1 features a stunning rap-battle type lecture with Jack and his colleague Murray Suskind (Don Cheadle) taking on Elvis versus Hitler and their relationships with their respective mothers. It’s filmed like a boxing match and most of the students seem oblivious to this treat. Act 2 is labeled “The Airborne Toxic Event” and it’s a fiery tanker car (filled with toxic waste) explosion that marks the transition. A mass evacuation takes the family to Camp Daffodil for 9 days, and Jack’s limited exposure to the toxic air places him in peril and leads to Act 3 where the fear of death merges with the discovery of Babbette’s Dylar source. The question then becomes, will Jack first die or commit murder … because, as we are told, men are killers.

Jack’s son is aptly named Heinrich and is played by Sam Nivola (the son of Alessandro Nivola and Emily Mortimer). Baumbach is an intellect obsessed with neurotic intellectual characters, and he thrives at blurring the line between satire and societal commentary … which is obviously why he was drawn to DeLillo’s novel. The film is often chaotic, and is an odd blend of science fiction, the ugliness of consumerism, and teasing the end of our world and existential contemplation reflecting our fear of death. Especially effective are the Production Design of Jess Gonchor and the work of composer Danny Elfman. Perhaps there could be no better ending than the dance number in the vitally important local grocery store that continues through the closing credits. The film is funny, frightening, and a bit of a downer that offers more questions than answers – an adaptation that serves the novel.

Opening in theaters on December 2, 2022

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VIOLENT NIGHT (2022)

November 30, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. HO-HO-HO! Who is ready for the best ever Santa slasher movie? Admittedly, it’s a narrow sub-genre and anyone that knows me or reads my reviews, knows full well that this is not the type of movie I typically recommend. However, it’s the season for charity and director Tommy Wirkola (HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS, 2013 – sequel in the works) and co-writers Pat Casey and John Miller (the screenwriters behind the “Sonic the Hedgehog” films) have gifted us an extremely violent and often very funny Christmas present, replete with a sledgehammer-slinging Santa Claus.

We first meet an inebriated Santa (“I’m on a break”) at a local pub, where he explains to a mall Santa why he has become so disenchanted with the job … greedy, self-centered kids who only want more video games. The booze numbs Santa’s disgust as he heads off on his sleigh … and Wirkola delivers the first shocking moment as Santa’s barf keys us into the type of twisted tale we are about to experience. David Harbour (best known for “Stranger Things” and HELLBOY, 2019) is absolutely all-in for this far-from-glamorous portrait of jolly ol’ Saint Nick. On his rounds, Santa raids household liquor stashes while chomping on cookies and eschewing skim milk. He’s a full-blown slob, yet still holds a soft spot for “nice” kids, while having little mercy for the “naughty” among us.

Most of the story takes place at the Lightstone family compound, where one-percenter Gertrude (CHRISTMAS VACATION alum Beverly D’Angelo) is the foul-mouthed matriarch ruling over her entitled and unlikable family consisting of daughter Alva (Edi Patterson) and her airhead-actor husband Morgan (Cam Gigandet) and their poser teenage son Bert (Alexander Elliot). Also present for the festive evening are Gertrude’s son Jason (Alex Hassell), his estranged wife Linda (Alexis Louder) and their precious 7-year-old daughter Trudy (Leah Brady). Santa arrives at the Lightstone mansion not long before a team of mercenaries, led by Mr Scrooge (John Leguizamo), storm the place and take the family members hostage. Their mission is to break into the family vault and abscond with $300 million in cash.

What follows is a demented mash-up of DIE HARD (1989), HOME ALONE (1990), BAD SANTA (2003), and THOR (2011). Deadly weapons used here include your expected firearms, but also a finely-honed candy cane, an icicle, a skating shoe, and a Christmas tree star, among other holiday items. Most prominent is the sledgehammer wielded by Santa, and the flashback to his pre-Santa days for explanation. The violent action is plentiful, and it’s well-balanced with countless lines of comedy. Surprisingly, there is a story nestled in amongst the mayhem, and the heart of it revolves around the bond between Santa and young Trudy. She’s a true believer in him and that overrides his uncertainty about the job, and inspires him to stick around for the fight. Santa can’t explain the mystique of Christmas “magic”, but he does know an 1100 year marriage has its ups and downs.

Obviously, this is not one for the kiddos (it’s a hard R-rating), and they should be shielded from this Yuletide yuck. Director Wirkola has delivered an instant holiday classic for those seeking the bizarro world flicks contrasting to the more respectable family fare of IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE and A CHRISTMAS STORY. Who would have ever thought that Festivus might be the safer holiday?

Opens in theaters on December 2, 2022

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