THIS MEANS WAR

February 20, 2012

 Greetings again from the darkness. Well it’s mid-February and the hope is that this is the worst movie I will sit through all year. It’s a waste of talent and utterly senseless … which would be fine if it happened to be funny. Somehow the writers and director manage to mash-up a spy thriller, action film, buddy film, and romantic comedy into something that is none of those and a slap in the face of the viewers.

This one is directed by McG, whose first two theatrical films were Charlie’s Angels and Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, both of which had more and better action sequences than this (that says plenty). It stars three very attractive people in Chris Pine, Tom Hardy and Reese Witherspoon. Their job is to continue to look attractive, sparkly eyes and all, in each progressively more absurd scene. Chelsea Handler is tossed in as Witherspoon’s married friend, who doles out horrible and trashy dating advice in what sounds like a lousy stand-up comedy routine. Angela Bassett, a normally fine actress, is totally out of place in her couple of scenes as the always-angry boss. Til Schweiger (Inglourious Basterds) is totally wasted as the generic bad guy.

 The movie bookends two lackluster action sequences that make little sense and are not much to look at. In between, we have two best buddy co-worker spies competing for the affections of the same girl, who is taking advice from her nasty, jealous friend. All of that is done with little action, no suspense, minimal comedy and absolutely no logical sense. Did I mention that the three leads are all very attractive? One of the minor details that really irritated me was a scene in a giant video store where Pine and Witherspoon are debating the hierarchy of Hitchcock films. In and of itself, that would be fine. But this conversation takes place in front of a display of multiple copies of Hitchcock’s The Lady Vanishes. Multiple copies. In a video store. Probably more copies than Amazon has in stock. Throw in an escalating series of outlandish dates, a multi-million dollar bachelor pad for Pine (what is the salary for a 30 yr old spy?), buddy dialogue that makes Riggs & Murtaugh or Tango & Cash sound like Lincoln and Douglas.

This is evidently supposed to be an action flick for chicks. There is gunfire, muscles and childlike banter coming from two attractive spies who both love the attractive woman who is desperate to be loved. This means flop.

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you don’t believe it could be this bad

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: you prefer not to pay $9 for a nap

watch the trailer (knowing that these are the “good” parts):


CARNAGE

January 15, 2012

 Greetings again from the darkness. Four strong actors in one upper crust Manhattan condo for 79 minutes is a good first step. A script adapted by the director Roman Polanski and the original playwright Yasmina Reza makes for a strong second step. So why isn’t this film more effective? The belief here is that this one simply works better as a play. That’s not to say the dialogue and flow aren’t impressive, it’s just that as a viewer, we are distracted by the look and feel of a play being presented on screen rather than live on stage.

The story opens with four well-groomed adults huddled around a computer putting the finishing touches on a joint statement regarding a playground incident between their two 11 year old sons. The Longstreet’s (Jodie Foster, John C Reilly) son ended up getting whacked in the face with a stick by the Cowan’s (Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz) son. We witness the incident from a distance over the opening credits, totally oblivious to the spoken words from the boys involved.

 After one minor compromise on wording, the statement is complete and the Cowan’s move to make a graceful exit from the Longstreet’s home. Instead, we get the first of four or five “almost” escapes as one after another particularly irksome claim or accusation is made by one of the participants, and the war of words moves back inside. The genius of the story comes from watching the gradual dismantling of social graces as these four people work through the full spectrum of human emotions related to, not just their son’s actions, but also the words and actions of each other. Think of it as an updated yuppie version of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

We see homemade cobbler transition to coffee and finally to whiskey. Each change coincides with personality changes and a constant shifting of alliances within the group. These are four normally civilized people play-acting like this emotional topic can be handled without emotion. One particular occurrence is quite off-putting for both the viewer and our on screen party of four. It creates quite a mess on the coffee table, and immediately intensifies the level of apologizing and philosophizing.

 There are at least three interesting social commentaries being made here. First, parents tend to defend their own children no matter the situation. Second, today’s parents mistakenly believe that 11 year olds should behave like mature adults. They have forgotten that social and coping skills are learned through playground disputes. Third, no matter how educated or well-mannered we show on the outside, we all have the need and desire to be respected and deemed correct in our judgments.

You may not learn a great deal from this one, but I bet you find yourself paying particular attention to your own debate strategy the next time you are in a social environment. It is certainly a treat to watch four standout actors having such a good time with words.

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you want to see adults arguing like teenagers while pretending to be acting like adults.

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: a harsh dose of human nature is not why you head to the movies.

watch the trailer:


THE ARTIST

December 27, 2011

 Greetings again from the darkness. Remember the last silent film that received this much adoration, acclaim and publicity? Of course you don’t. It was 1927 and Clara Bow starred in Wings, the most recent silent film to be nominated for Best Picture (it won). My guess is, that streak is about to end thanks to French writer/director Michel Hazanavicius.

No doubt many will avoid this one since it is a Black & White silent film. What a mistake that would be. It offers a wonderfully entertaining and captivating story, and two outstanding and expressive lead performances. Jean Dujardin is remarkable as George Valentin, one of the biggest movie stars in 1927 (when this story begins). It’s around this time when the “talkies” begin taking over. Valentin is a very likable character, but foolishly believes talking movies are a fad and his fans will remain loyal to him and his traditional silent films. Not only do talkies take off, but the Great Depression also hits. Valentin finds himself out of work and broke.

 The most fun in the film occurs when Valentin and Peppy Miller (Berenice Bejo) are on screen together. Their characters have a chance meeting and there is an instant spark. Valentin gets her the first break of her career and before long, she is on the rise as fast as he free falls. Only Valentin’s dog and driver (James Cromwell) remain loyal to him during the tough times, but Peppy works behind the scenes to ensure their bond doesn’t die.

It’s impossible to watch this film and not notice the influence of Singin’ in the Rain and Sunset Blvd. Also, Dujardin’s Valentin looks to be a cross between Douglas Fairbanks and Gene Kelly, replete with the electric matinee idol smile. Both Dujrardin and Ms. Bejo (who is the director’s real life girlfriend) have the elastic face and bright eyes necessary for silent film stardom. They really allow us as viewers to forget the silence and enjoy the characters.

 Unless you are a film historian or a real movie buff, your only exposure to silent films may be from short clips or Mel Brooks‘ Silent Movie. This one will change that and offer you glimpse at just how powerful film images can be.  Another thing that will jump out is how crucial complimentary music is.  It will guide you through the scene.  Ludovic Bource is responsible for the terrific original score, and other pieces of music are also used … particularly Bernard Herrmann‘s piece from Vertigo.

This is a fully realized story with excellent character development. You might wonder how this is possible with no dialogue, but that’s why this is a must see film garnering an abundance of critical acclaim. It’s very easy to access and is purely entertaining … with moments of both happiness and sadness. It has everything a really good movie should have … just with fewer lines of dialogue and a really smart dog!

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you want to see one of the best movies of the year OR you don’t believe a silent movie can hold your attention (this one will prove you wrong)

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: you just don’t like movies … sorry, I can’t think of another reason.

watch the trailer:


SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS

December 17, 2011

 Greetings again from the darkness. Normally if a sequel shows up a mere two years after the original, we would have good reason for low expectations (ie, The Hangover). However, director Guy Ritchie is back and just as importantly, Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law reprise their roles as Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. Adding a few twists to the successful template provided by the original, the team delivers one that is sure to keep fans happy.

The reason so many Sir Arthur Conan Doyle loyalists dismissed the first film is that the frenetic pace and towering action sequences seem to go against what made the original stories so great. So what does Mr. Ritchie do? He goes BIGGER and FASTER! There are three extended action sequences that are mind-boggling to watch. They work because the plot is so elementary, my dear. Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris) is out to cause a war from which he can personally profit. His plan involves guns, bombs and assassinations. Only our heroes can possibly stop him.

 Much of the odd-ball bromance from the first movie has been toned down here, and we get not only the return of Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams) and Watson’s new wife (Kelly Reilly), but also the introduction of a third female character – a gypsy fortune teller, Madame Simza (the original The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Noomi Rapace). Of course, McAdams character doesn’t last long, Reilly gets tossed from a moving train, and Rapace is given a few lines and a couple of sprinting scenes. There may be more women, but this is still a man’s world.

 The vision for this franchise is an updated version that encourages discovery of Holmes by a new generation. And while Downey is excellent, it’s difficult not to notice the similarities to Captain Jack Sparrow. Also, Professor Moriarty is very much a Bond-type villain. None of that matters too much as the rapid-fire dialogue between Holmes and Watson, and the crackling chemistry between Downey and Law, make this a fun time at a huge holiday movie. An added plus this time is a brilliantly written and executed chess match between Moriarty and Holmes. That scene fed my need for the more brainiac Holmes that I so adore.

It seems odd that the release date for this one is so close to that of the new Mission:Impossible, but they both deliver what the fans want and hopefully find their audience. Even if you aren’t a fan, the fabulous sets and various world filming locations will keep you interested, even as you dodge giant explosions.

note: this is the first English-speaking role for Noomi Rapace

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: while watching the first one, you thought to yourself “too bad there aren’t more explosions and fight scenes” OR you enjoy the test-pilot speed at which Guy Ritchie and Robert Downey Jr so excel

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: you prefer the traditional, methodical pace of the Doyle books OR watching a wife get thrown out of a moving train might motivate you to action

watch the trailer:


YOUNG ADULT

December 15, 2011

 Greetings again from the darkness. Writer Diablo Cody and Director Jason Reitman reunite for the first time since breakout hit Juno. In that fine film, we were treated to many optimistic and sarcastic life lessons from a very likable, and easy to cheer for, pregnant teenage girl. This time around we get the caustic, childlike self-centeredness of a mid-30’s alcoholic sadly trying to recapture the magic of her high school years as the prom queen dating the coolest guy.

Ms. Cody and Mr. Reitman deserve much credit for steering clear of the Hollywood traditions of redemption, remorse, and turning over a new leaf. In fact, we probably dislike Mavis (Charlize Theron) even more as the movie ends than we did in the film’s first 5 minutes, if that’s even possible. It takes courage as a filmmaker to have a lead character who is disliked through the entire movie, not just by the people in her life, but also by the audience. It also takes a special actress to pull this off. If you saw Theron in her Oscar winning role in Monster, believe me when I say that she is equally unsympathetic here … though she does commit fewer actual crimes.

 This film is erroneously marketed as a smart comedy. While there are some funny elements, it’s difficult to find much humor in someone who is so unstable and narcissistic. Wisely, the script provides us with Matt (Patton Oswalt) as the voice of reason. He sees through the Mavis mask and speaks directly in his attempts to divert her from her plan. That plan is to break up the marriage of her high school sweetheart (Patrick Wilson). Oh yeah, he just happens to be happily married (Elizabeth Reaser) with a newborn baby.

 The best scenes of the film are between Mavis and Matt. She is oblivious to her negative effect on others, while he shoots her straight while avoiding his own harsh reality. See, Matt was the victim of a vicious hate crime, which left his leg (and other things) mangled. His own view of life is why he can see right through Mavis and her issues. While I so admire the basis of the script, I just believe there is a missing element. The element of hope and optimism. Heck, even when Mavis admits she “might be an alcoholic”, her parents shrug it off and change topics. Sometimes crying out for help just isn’t enough.

The film is worth seeing for the performances of Theron and Oswalt, as well as for the unique script. Just don’t get tricked into believing it’s some laugh-riot with a fairy tale ending. Mavis is a ghost writer for teen novels, and she writes the latest as she lives this nightmare of a trip back home. My only real question … is she mature enough to write for teens?

note: Director Jason Reitman has had a very impressive start to his career.  I highly recommend his first three movies: Thank You for Smoking, Juno, Up in the Air

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you want to see two Oscar caliber performances by Charlize Theron and Patton Oswalt OR you want to see a Hollywood rarity – a leading lady with no redemptive qualities

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: you prefer a little “sunshine” in the story rather than constant clouds with an occasional lightning bolt

watch the trailer:


THE SITTER

December 11, 2011

 Greetings again from the darkness. Seeing more than 100 new movies every year means strict adherence to the “gut instincts” policy of deciding which new movies to see, and which to avoid. A day after the beat down of Shame, I was desperate for laughter, so I ignored the gut instinct and headed out to see this new comedy. Unfortunately, my gut was correct, and I am still seeking laughter.

David Gordon Green also directed Pineapple Express and Your Highness, neither my style, but both clearly comedies. Jonah Hill has quite the track record of comedy films (Cyrus), and earlier this year made his first foray into drama with Moneyball. He has also recently lost a tremendous amount of weight, so this was to be his final “fat guy” comedy.

 If you have seen the far-superior Adventures in Babysitting (1987) with Elisabeth Shue, then you know the basic premise. Hill does his mother a favor by agreeing to babysit her friend’s three kids. This proves to be more challenging than Hill’s character expected. The kids are Slater, played by Max Records (Where the Wild Things Are); Blithe, played by Landry Bender; and Rodrigo, played by Kevin Hernandez. These kids, of course, have various afflictions, phobias and disorders … but none as off the charts as Hill’s character.

 Without going into detail, the first scene is horrible and the movie somehow proceeds to get worse from there. There is bathroom humor, a run in with a drug dealer (Sam Rockwell), a bitchy girlfriend (Ari Graynor) and a confrontation with a group of African Americans featuring Method Man. Every scene is predictable, often filled with stereotypes, and generated no laughter from me or hardly anyone else in the theater. I always say that comedies are most difficult genre to review, because everyone has a unique sense of humor … but this one just offers so very little, and doesn’t even seem to try.

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you prefer to avoid the strain of actually laughing during comedies

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: you can find anything better to do – yard work, root canal, cleaning the septic tank, etc

watch the trailer:


THE MUPPETS (2011)

December 6, 2011

 Greetings again from the darkness. Since I recently selected an animated film as my favorite movie of the year (Toy Story 3), it is to be expected that I would make the time to see the first Muppets movie produced in 12 years. Since the driving forces behind this one were Jason Segel and director James Bobin, who was the creator of “Flight of the Conchords”, one of my favorite cult TV shows … I wasn’t sure what to expect.  Although Bret and Jermaine don’t make an appearance (Bret McKenzie did write the hilarious songs), there are still laughs for adults, as well as the expected gags for kids.

 Jason Segel and Amy Adams star, along with Chris Cooper, Rashida Jones, Jack Black and a long list of celebs who I won’t name here … it’s much more fun to spot them as they arrive on screen. The old gang is back, including Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo (now owner of plumbing company Royal Flush), Fozzie Bear (in a casino act), Animal (straight out of Anger Management) and of course, my favorites, Statler and Waldorf.

 There are a couple of tributes to the genius that was Jim Henson, creator of the Muppets. You will notice a poster of him outside the studio and a photograph on the wall of Kermit’s office. No real need to go into the story, but I think most will be satisfied not just with the cameos and songs, but also the depth of the story. There is a reason for the Muppets revival, and I am very happy to see the band is back together!

On the downside, there were more than a few times that I felt the filmmakers rushed through in a sloppy manner or were just plain lazy with the script.  There is also a touch of Hollywood left-wing propaganda, as the bad guy is an oil man. Most of the cameos seem more like a flash, and they offered much potential for improvement.  That said, I laughed a few times and the kids in the theatre seemed quite entertained.  So ….. Mahna Mahna

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you are a Muppets fan OR would like to introduce a new generation to the gang and the genius of Jim Henson

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: you prefer not to tap into the “kid” side of your personality

watch the trailer:


THE DESCENDANTS

November 19, 2011

 Greetings again from the darkness. Ahh … finally! I was beginning to wonder if 2011 was going to produce a film that I could whole-heartedly recommend to both cinephiles and casual movie goers. Writer/director Alexander Payne has delivered a gem. And in a giant surprise, it stars George Clooney as a guy going through real life stress, and in his own words, “just trying to keep his head above water“.

Clooney plays Matt King, a lawyer in Hawaii who is also the trustee of a family land trust. Only this is no typical family land trust. It involves thousands of pristine Kauai acreage that has been left untouched for hundreds of years. The endless stream of “cousins” want him to sell to a developer for enough gold to make them all filthy rich. The locals don’t want him to sell as they believe in the spiritual nature of land, not the green backs of hotels and beachfront homes. And Matt only wishes this was his biggest problem.

 Matt’s fun-loving wife has been injured in a speed boat accident. She is in a coma and the prognosis is not bright. She also has a living will that states no life-support, which is another of the problems Matt must face. Additionally, he must re-connect with his two daughters. See, Matt has been the workaholic attorney that has left the child-rearing to his wife. The two daughters prove to be more than a hand full for the clueless Matt. Scottie (Amana Miller) is the youngest and is struggling with how to react to the state of her mother. Alexandra (Shailene Woodley) is off at boarding school in hopes that she can be tamed from her wild ways. These three must come together and really bond for the first time.

 Those three problems would be enough for any one man to handle, but Matt receives one more bit of information. Turns out his wife was having an affair at the time of her boating accident. So, “having a bad day” seems a little insufficient for Matt’s situation. At this point, the movie takes a sharp left turn turn and almost becomes a mini-road trip movie. Matt, his two daughters and Alexandra’s odd friend Sid (Nick Krause) take on the mission of informing friends and relatives, while also tracking down the “other guy”.

It may seem like I have given away much of the story, but in fact, all of that has been discussed in one of the trailers. What sets this film apart is how this web of stress is handled by Matt and daughters. The story is based on the novel by Kaui Hart Hemmings, and the screenplay is co-written by Payne, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash. Watching Matt as he struggles through each decision and situation makes us pull for him, even though he really isn’t anything special … he’s not all that friendly or charming (a rarity for a Clooney character), and certainly not a polished parent.

 Alexander Payne has given us About Schmidt and it’s been 7 years since his last feature, Sideways. Both of those excellent films, and this one, give us a character on the brink … full crisis mode. Some of his characters lash out (Paul Giamatti in Sideways), while others turn to introspection (Jack Nicholson in About Schmidt). Here, Clooney’s character seems to have many decisions to make, but the biggest one is reconnecting with his own soul and being the kind of man he needs to be, for himself, his daughters and the sacred land.

 In addition to Clooney’s fine work, I was very impressed with Shailene Woodley as his oldest daughter.  Veteran Robert Forster turns in a macho role as Clooney’s father-in-law, who harbors some resentment towards him.  Matthew Lilliard and the underrated Judy Greer play the crucial roles of Mr. and Mrs. Brian Speer. Beau Bridges plays the leader of the cousins, which also includes Michael Ontkean (from The Rookies in the 70’s).  You might also recognize surfing legend Laird Hamilton as Troy, the driver of the boat when Clooney’s wife is injured. The other two key characters are the beautiful state of Hawaii and the pitch perfect guitar and island music throughout.

The characters and story are so effective that you will find yourself tearing up in the same scene where you laugh out loud. And that will happen more than once. Few filmmakers can walk the high wire between comedy and drama better than Payne. We connect with these character as they are real people … we KNOW these people. And we know excellent filmmaking when we see it.

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you enjoy a multi-faceted script with realistic characters and dialogue that sounds like something any of us might actually say OR you would like to see Clooney’s best performance to date (even better than Syriana).

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: you prefer your comedy to lean towards slapstick and your drama to be a bit less real-world scenario

watch the trailer:


THE RUM DIARY

November 5, 2011

 Greetings again from the darkness. I suppose we are to give Hunter S Thompson the benefit of the doubt. Some of his writings are historically invaluable and models of brilliant writing. I doubt many would include The Rum Diary in that category. Director Bruce Robinson (Jennifer Eight, Withnail and I) does the best he can with enormous help from Thompson’s friend and biggest cheerleader, Johnny Depp.

The film plays as an autobiography supposing Thompson’s character Paul Kemp (Depp) would have been employed in 1960 at the San Juan Puerto Rico STAR, a newspaper run by English speaking Americans trying to report in Spanish speaking land. The editor is Lotterman (Richard Jenkins) who just wants simple human interest stories that the tourists will enjoy. When Kemp arrives, Lotterman asks him what kind of drinker he is. Kemp replies “the high end of social“. A greater understatement may never have been uttered. Kemp, and of course, the real life Thompson, ingested liquor at a pace and volume greater than a marathoner takes in water.

 Kemp finds a drinking buddy in Sala (Michael Rispoli) who is the paper’s photographer. He is drawn into a shady land development plot by Sanderson (Aaron Eckhart), an American looking to capitalize financially by raping the undeveloped beach front land. He needs the help of Kemp to “sell” the project to investors, tourists and locals. Not surprisingly, Kemp’s vision is a bit cloudy and he screws this up while also turning the head of Sanderson’s lady, Chenault (Amber Heard).  All the while, a shady, oddball figure played by Giovanni Ribisi is ALWAYS around.  Ribisi’s character is the guy who, if in prison, other inmates would come to for “supplies”.  Somehow, though, this character is free to roam about San Juan.

 Depp does a standout job as Thompson again (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas) with his speech pattern and ever present sunglasses. The feel of the 1960’s is on display with fashion and autos, but this one just didn’t do it for me. I suppose the message from Thompson here is that he did what he always envisioned himself doing … he went hard after the establishment bad guys and brought them down hard. However, this story rings a bit hollow and there are just too many missing pieces and too many holes.

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you never miss anything with Johnny Depp or written by Hunter S Thompson … there is really no other reason.

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: you are looking for a real introduction to the Gonzo Journalism that Hunter S Thompson was best at

watch the trailer:


MY AFTERNOONS WITH MARGUERITTE (La tete en friche, FR.)

October 9, 2011

 Greetings again from the darkness. It’s nice to see a sweet, charming, lovely little movie get made and distributed. The characters are people we immediately recognize and feel like we know … or wish we did. Based on a novel by Marie-Sabine Roger, it’s directed by Jean Becker who clearly loves the characters, dialogue and message.

Gerard Depardieu stars as Germain, a giant hulking mass of man who labors to breathe and doubts his lot in life.  He is both likable and a bit of a target for good-hearted barbs by his buddies at the café where they all hang out. Germain is the kind of guy who tends a garden of home grown veggies, and finishes his handyman work when the job is done … even if it means he gets cheated out of a few dollars.

 One day Germain meets Margueritte. Seems they both like to feed the pigeons from the same park bench. The two of them fall in love. OK, it’s not quite that simple. Margueritte (Gisele Casadesus) is 95 years old and lives at a retirement center nearby. Her world consists mostly of reading books and counting pigeons. That is, until she meets Germain. Her wise, but failing eyes, recognize a wounded man. A man with a giant and kind heart. And mostly a man who is a wonderful listener. See, Margueritte READS aloud to Germain, who was mistreated as a child by his mother and teacher, and never developed any self-esteem or refined social skills. Margueritte helps him overcome through the words she reads … and the stories he visualizes.

 This simple story shows what an impact we can have on others by listening, or through a simple act of kindness. Margueritte’s efforts open up the world for Germain, while his willingness to listen and care, give her hope for another day. There are side stories involving Germain’s mother (Claire Maurier), whom he still cares for, Germain’s younger girlfriend Annette (Sophie Guillemin), and the circle of friends at the café/pub. These are all French people and full of life and emotion and judgment and caring.

Despite the shaky ending, this movie made me smile and had me hoping to spend an afternoon on the park bench with Margueritte and Germain … reading The Plague by Albert Camus. Now that’s a movie first!

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you want to see an unconventional and sweet story of friendship and love OR you have been wondering where all the 95 year old movie stars are!

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: French films with subtitles and senior citizens feeding pigeons and reading aloud makes you long for boxing robots

watch the trailer: