PETER PAN & WENDY (2023)

April 28, 2023

Greetings again from the darkness. In 1904, J.M. Barrie finished “Peter Pan, or the Boy who wouldn’t Grow Up”, and since then the story has been re-imagined on stage, on the silver screen, and even with a live TV production. Every generation gets their version (sometimes more than one), and the most famous (or infamous) are the 1953 animated Disney classic, the 1991 Steven Spielberg live action version HOOK, the 2003 live action version that never really captured a wide audience, and the fairly recent 2015 flop PAN from Joe Wright. At the core of the story is that none of us really want to grow up and take on the responsibilities of adulthood, and to avoid such a wretched future, we’d be willing to fly off in the middle of the night to a place called Neverland and fight an evil pirate while chasing great adventures.

If you want to explore the optimistic and playful aspects of the story, then Walt Disney animation and director Steven Spielberg are your best bets. On the flip side, you wouldn’t expect the director of A GHOST STORY (2017) and THE GREEN KNIGHT (2021) to follow suit. Writer-director David Lowery and his co-writer and collaborator Toby Halbrooks (Polyphonic Spree) on those projects wouldn’t be expected to dwell on the cheery aspects of the story, and they certainly don’t. Instead, we get exactly what they expertly deliver in their work – lush photography and a slightly twisted perspective on what makes people (young and old) tick.

We first meet Wendy (the talented Ever Anderson, offspring of Milla Jovovich and director Paul WS Anderson) as she frets over being shipped off to boarding school, while still finding the energy to stage sword fights with her younger brothers in all corners of the upstairs bedroom they share. Yet another piece of broken furniture results in the parents (Alan Tudyk, Molly Parker) lecturing Wendy about how her time for fun has passed and she should set an example for her brothers. This is the same evening (and very early in the film) where Tinker Bell (Yara Shahidi) and Peter Pan (newcomer Alexander Molony) show up to whisk the three kids away from drudgery and towards adventure and fun.

What to say about Neverland … the “lost boys” aren’t really living a carefree, desirable life, and fun seems to be a bit hard to come by. Their leader, Peter Pan, is certainly a moody dude. Adventure does strike every time Captain Hook and his band of pirates attack. Jude Law seems to relish the role and his handlebar mustache, gravelly voice, and grumpy demeanor is one of the film’s highlights – along with comedian Jim Gaffigan (underrated as an actor) as first mate Smee.

In this iteration, Peter Pan is a bit of a blah character, as the focus is on Wendy and Captain Hook. We do get the origin story for Peter and Hook, and the visuals (Newfoundland, Faroe Islands) from cinematographer Bojan Bozelli are matched by composer Daniel Hart’s score. Director Lowery has modernized the tale by having the Lost Boys include boys and girls of multiple nationalities, a biracial Tinker Bell, and a heroic Tiger Lily played by Alyssa Wapanatahk. Kids will enjoy the flying scenes, sword fights, and the giant crocodile, however, it’s fair to wonder if the film is too dark and joyless for youngsters … plus the focus on Hook’s disenchantment is more for grown-ups than kiddos. In fairness to Lowery and Halbrooks, they were also behind the excellent and underappreciated PETE’S DRAGON (2016).

We have come to accept that Disney classics are being re-made and re-imagined as live action flicks, and it’s no surprise that some are better than others.

Now streaming on Disney+

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POLITE SOCIETY (2023)

April 27, 2023

Greetings again from the darkness. If you have ever wondered what it might look like if Quentin Tarantino consulted on a modernized Pakistani version of Jane Austen … well, writer-director Nida Manzoor shows us (with no actual assistance from QT), including stylized martial arts, class warfare, and an obsession with a stuntwoman career. It’s Ms. Manzoor’s first feature film (she created the TV series “We are Lady Parts”) and she presents an extremely creative film with a balance of silly and dark themes that proves immensely entertaining.

Relative newcomer Priya Kansara stars as Ria, a private school student highly determined to achieve her goal of becoming a working stuntwoman. She remains laser-focused on this despite her teacher and parents laughing off such nonsense and re-directing her towards becoming a doctor. Ria also adores her older sister Lena (Rita Arya), although worried about her since she recently dropped out of art school and seems to be rudderless in life.

Things change quickly for everyone once rich mama’s boy/doctor Salim (Akshay Khanna) begins courting Lena. Ria senses things aren’t right with the relationship and is also convinced that Lena should resume her dreams of being artist, rather than being pursued by the handsome, rich, too-good-to-be-true suitor. Ria and her best friends Clara (Seraphina Beh) and Alba (Ella Bruccoleri) scheme to undercut the relationship, but they are no match for Salim’s mother (a terrific Nimra Bucha), who sports the best evil Grinch grin you’ve ever seen.

Director Manzoor divides the film into five chapters: A tale of two sisters, EID Soiree, Operation Wife Hunter, Assault on Shah mansion, and The Wedding. Each chapter offers comedy and action, and a matching of Ria’s wits and instincts against the plans and beliefs of others. Ms. Kansara impresses as an upstart female Jackie Chan with superior acting chops. She executes the physical martial arts sequences beautifully, yet also shows promise in the quieter, more intimate moments when emoting and dialogue matter. She is certainly one to watch … as is filmmaker Nida Manzoor. Anyone who can entertain at this level deserves the opportunity to do so as frequently as possible.

Opening in theaters on April 28, 2023

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GHOSTED (2023)

April 21, 2023

Greetings again from the darkness. I am often accused of taking movies too seriously rather than just sitting back and enjoying the entertainment value. Well, this latest from director Dexter Fletcher (ROCKETMAN 2019, EDDIE THE EAGLE 2015) is textbook ‘popcorn entertainment’ made for those who prefer to sit back and enjoy. There is plenty to like here and it did generate a few laughs, yet it’s still a movie that doesn’t hold up to much thought or post-viewing discussion. SPIDER-MAN collaborators Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers, and DEADPOOL collaborators Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick have joined forces on a script that somehow doesn’t have the dialogue zings that can keep pace with the action sequences.

An early meet-cute occurs as organic family farmer Cole Turner (Chris Evans bucking his Captain America persona) unknowingly flirts with market shopper Sadie Rhodes (Ana de Armas, fresh off her Oscar nomination for BLONDE, 2022), recommending she purchase a cactus rather than a Begonia once she discloses her work travel schedule. An all-day and all-night date ends with Cole telling his family that “she may be the one.” His caustic sister (Lizzie Broadway) skewers him with the funniest one-liners in the film while informing that his smothering texts and emojis have likely caused Sadie to ghost him.

It’s at this point where the clumsy organic farmer turns into an extreme stalker and heads to London … don’t ask what trick allowed him to track her. A photo op at Tower Bridge ends with Cole being abducted and presumed to be “The Taxman” (cue Beatles song), the only person with the code to unlocking a chemical weapon in the possession of arms dealer and dastardly bad buy Leveque (Oscar winner Adrien Brody). Of course, Sadie rescues Cole at the last minute, and her cover as an international art curator is blown … surprise! She’s actually a highly-skilled CIA spy.

Three major action sequences are featured: an exciting bus-in-reverse along a mountain side road in Pakistan, a fight scene aboard a private jet, and a guns-blazing shootout in a rotating high-rise restaurant. Ana de Armas is terrific in the action sequence and her rapport with Chris Evans (first noted in KNIVES OUT, 2019) elevates the toothless banter between the two. It’s a bit shocking that this group of writers couldn’t land on wittier and sharper comments for these two characters as they bounce around the globe … even racing up THE EXORCIST stairway. At times it feels like an episode of “Get Smart”, although the action sequences are first rate.

Supporting roles are held by Mike Moh, Amy Sedaris, Tate Donovan, and the always fun Tim Blake Nelson. Many will enjoy the hand full of cameos that pop up, at least one “Wilhelm scream”, and the sometimes obvious and/or cheesy song selection … a rare soundtrack to include both The Knack and Dua Lipa. The film leans more into cute than witty and danger, but with two of the most attractive stars working today, that’s forgivable. Just get your popcorn ready and sit back and enjoy this rom-com/action-thriller, and don’t think too much.

The film will be on Apple TV+ on April 21.

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AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER (2022)

December 13, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. I’ll admit that I’m not easily dazzled, and I’m very happy to admit that the thirteen years since James Cameron’s AVATAR was not just worth the wait – this latest one truly dazzled me. While the 2009 film was impressive from a technical standpoint, the new one is awe-inspiring, especially in the underwater sequences. I should disclose that I saw this on a huge screen in a theater with a spectacular sound system, and even the 3D glasses didn’t bother me at all (a first). The usually annoying muted color tones of 3D were minimal here, and the colors still popped as the 3D effects became a part of the presentation rather than the typical gimmickry.

Heading back to Pandora is either something you look forward to or could care less about. For those who have been anxiously awaiting the release, prepare to be amazed and stunned at just how far the CGI has come since Cameron set the standard years ago. On the other hand, one should be prepared for a middling, cliché-driven story with a script by Cameron, Rick Jaffa, and Amanda Silver, with story credits to Josh Friedman and Shane Salerno. And since there will be at least one more film in the franchise (filmed simultaneously with this one), and possibly as many as three more, be prepared for unresolved and dangling story lines (that you may or may not care about). The reality is that the magic of the Avatar movies is in the visuals – escapism and fantasy creatures – not in the plot.

A lot has happened since the previous film. Jake Sully (Sam Worthington), the human-turned-Na’vi (via genetic engineering) is now a tribal leader on Pandora. He and Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) now have two teenage sons and a young daughter, as well as an adopted teenage girl Kiri (played via stop-motion by Sigourney Weaver, one of the scientists in the original), and a quasi-adopted human son named Spider (Jack Champion). Family bliss in paradise is a pretty darn good life … at least until the evil humans return, scorching the land with their machinery. Since humans have pretty much ruined Earth, the mission is to find a new homeland, and what better place than Pandora. A miscast Edie Falco is the General leading the mission, and her advanced exoskeleton is a nod to Ripley in Cameron’s ALIENS. Her elite squadron of Na’vi Avatars is led Quaritch (Stephen Lang), a human character who died in the first film, but his memories are now implanted in a physically superior Na’vi body and he has revenge on the mind … specifically hunting Sully and Neytiri.

As beautiful as Pandora is (and it is), the island that Sully and family escape to takes beauty to another level. This tribe of Na’vi has evolved to live at one with the ocean. The water people aren’t overly excited about taking in the forest people, especially since bad guys are chasing the newcomers, and what follows is a stream of predictable interactions – though the predictability is quickly forgiven once Cameron takes us beneath the surface. It’s truly breathtaking to see this underwater world filled with wildlife, plants, and coral. The creatures are unique, colorful and exciting, none more so than the mega-whales considered spirit animals by the water people.

The stop-motion technology means we see only a few actual humans, though the cast is often recognizable, and in addition to Worthington, Saldana, Weaver, Lang, and Champion, it includes Oscar winner Kate Winslet, Jemaine Clement, Cliff Curtis, and CCH Pounder. But this isn’t a showcase for actors. Instead, it’s a showcase for Cameron to blend his love of technology with his love of the ocean and commitment to environmental protection. He succeeds in wowing us and reminding us what a true cinematic spectacle can be. Another warning I’ll offer is that at least one-third (maybe closer to half) of the film is either the hour-long battle in the final act, or some other action sequence sprinkled in. Just don’t think this is a relaxing getaway to Pandora! Lastly, for those interested in seeing this, I encourage you to seek out a local theater that is decked out with the latest technology, and don’t shy away from 3D showings unless you are one of those who get nauseous or experience motion-sickness.

Opens nationwide in theaters on December 16, 2022

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THE WOMAN KING (2022)

December 11, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. I’m a little late on this one as I try to catch up with viewings for year-end lists and voting. From the opening scene, director Gina Prince-Bythewood (LOVE AND BASKETBALL, 2000) establishes the skill and intimidation of the Agojie, an elite force of female soldiers in the Dahomey Kingdom of West Africa. The year is 1823 and the warriors are led by their General, Nanisca (Oscar winner Viola Davis, FENCES, 2016), a fierce leader who also has the ear (figuratively speaking) of Ghezo (John Boyega), the new king.

The film is based on historical facts, but also takes a great deal of dramatic license in its story telling. Actress Maria Bello developed the story, and the screenplay was written by Dana Stevens (FOR LOVE OF THE GAME, 1999). Dahomey’s riches come from its slave trade, and its way of life is being threatened by it’s enemy, the Oyo Empire … for whom Nanisca holds a personal hatred. Nanisca recommends transitioning to the sale of palm oil, while Shante (Jayme Lawson, TILL, 2022), the power-hungry wife of the King, promotes further expanding their successful slave trade.

Nanisca loses many soldiers in that initial battle and must quickly train a new group of recruits. One of these is Nawi (Thuso Mbedu, “The Underground Railroad”), an obstinate young girl who rebels against her father’s wishes and finds herself ‘gifted’ to the kingdom. Izogie (an excellent Lashana Lynch, NO TIME TO DIE, 2021) takes on the role of training and mentoring Nawi, and the two form a strong bond. The trading of slaves plays a part in this version of the story, yet somehow it feels minimized in the interest of playing to the mainstream and ensuring Ms. Davis’s character appears heroic and appealing throughout … even with the twist, that won’t really surprise anyone.

What I find most interesting is that Viola Davis is garnering much attention for another Best Actress Oscar nomination, yet it’s Thuso Mbedu whom I would claim is the lead in the film, and certainly a more interesting character. The King’s Guard (the Agojie) are remarkably fit and the battle scenes are well orchestrated … and Nanisca has one of the best fight/attack yells of all time. The film is large in scale and likely owes a bit of gratitude to the success of the Black Panther movies for the enhanced budget. In the end, we can certainly appreciate Ms. Davis’s strong General, though it’s Ms. Mbedu who looks to be the one to watch in the coming years.

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VIOLENT NIGHT (2022)

November 30, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. HO-HO-HO! Who is ready for the best ever Santa slasher movie? Admittedly, it’s a narrow sub-genre and anyone that knows me or reads my reviews, knows full well that this is not the type of movie I typically recommend. However, it’s the season for charity and director Tommy Wirkola (HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS, 2013 – sequel in the works) and co-writers Pat Casey and John Miller (the screenwriters behind the “Sonic the Hedgehog” films) have gifted us an extremely violent and often very funny Christmas present, replete with a sledgehammer-slinging Santa Claus.

We first meet an inebriated Santa (“I’m on a break”) at a local pub, where he explains to a mall Santa why he has become so disenchanted with the job … greedy, self-centered kids who only want more video games. The booze numbs Santa’s disgust as he heads off on his sleigh … and Wirkola delivers the first shocking moment as Santa’s barf keys us into the type of twisted tale we are about to experience. David Harbour (best known for “Stranger Things” and HELLBOY, 2019) is absolutely all-in for this far-from-glamorous portrait of jolly ol’ Saint Nick. On his rounds, Santa raids household liquor stashes while chomping on cookies and eschewing skim milk. He’s a full-blown slob, yet still holds a soft spot for “nice” kids, while having little mercy for the “naughty” among us.

Most of the story takes place at the Lightstone family compound, where one-percenter Gertrude (CHRISTMAS VACATION alum Beverly D’Angelo) is the foul-mouthed matriarch ruling over her entitled and unlikable family consisting of daughter Alva (Edi Patterson) and her airhead-actor husband Morgan (Cam Gigandet) and their poser teenage son Bert (Alexander Elliot). Also present for the festive evening are Gertrude’s son Jason (Alex Hassell), his estranged wife Linda (Alexis Louder) and their precious 7-year-old daughter Trudy (Leah Brady). Santa arrives at the Lightstone mansion not long before a team of mercenaries, led by Mr Scrooge (John Leguizamo), storm the place and take the family members hostage. Their mission is to break into the family vault and abscond with $300 million in cash.

What follows is a demented mash-up of DIE HARD (1989), HOME ALONE (1990), BAD SANTA (2003), and THOR (2011). Deadly weapons used here include your expected firearms, but also a finely-honed candy cane, an icicle, a skating shoe, and a Christmas tree star, among other holiday items. Most prominent is the sledgehammer wielded by Santa, and the flashback to his pre-Santa days for explanation. The violent action is plentiful, and it’s well-balanced with countless lines of comedy. Surprisingly, there is a story nestled in amongst the mayhem, and the heart of it revolves around the bond between Santa and young Trudy. She’s a true believer in him and that overrides his uncertainty about the job, and inspires him to stick around for the fight. Santa can’t explain the mystique of Christmas “magic”, but he does know an 1100 year marriage has its ups and downs.

Obviously, this is not one for the kiddos (it’s a hard R-rating), and they should be shielded from this Yuletide yuck. Director Wirkola has delivered an instant holiday classic for those seeking the bizarro world flicks contrasting to the more respectable family fare of IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE and A CHRISTMAS STORY. Who would have ever thought that Festivus might be the safer holiday?

Opens in theaters on December 2, 2022

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BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER (2022)

November 8, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. The big secret was spoiled before the film ever hit theaters, and of course, I won’t reveal anything here for those who have managed to avoid the leaks. We do learn the identity of the new Black Panther, complete with action sequences. What really stands out in this sequel to the 2018 original, is that writer-director Ryan Coogler and co-writer Joe Robert Cole return with less action, and more focus on grief, the transition of power, and the introduction of yet another society that has lived undetected for generations.

The film opens with the death of King T’Challa from a mysterious illness. We see his mother, Queen Ramonda (Angela Bassett) and his sister Shuri (Letitia Wright) and the whole of Wakanda attending his funeral in a sea of white. Ms. Bassett kicks into dominant Queen Mother mode, while butting heads at times with Shuri in a collision of tradition vs. science. A couple of sequences make sure we understand that Vibranium remains the most valuable and sought-after natural resource on the globe. Wakanda will stop at nothing to protect their way of life and their corner on the Vibranium market. However, it turns out, it’s not a corner they control, but rather one they share with a previously unknown society.

The CIA is involved … in a botched mission of greed, of course … and this means Agent Everett K Ross (Martin Freeman) continues his communication relationship with Wakanda, which drags the agency director and his ex-wife (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) into the fray. The story has many tentacles and bounces around the globe, mostly to appear complicated and important. Other familiar characters are back, including the fierce Okoye (Danai Gurira, a standout in the first film), M”Baku (Winston Duke, given little to do this time), and super spy Nakia (Lupita N’yongo) who now runs a school in Haiti.

New to the proceedings are Dominique Thorne, who plays 19-year-old MIT science and technology whiz, Riri Williams, and especially Tenoch Huerta as Namor, the ruler of the underwater kingdom of Talokan. Not back are Daniel Kaluuya (scheduling conflicts?) and, of course, the late Chadwick Boseman, who passed away in 2020. Director Coogler includes a tribute to Boseman over the opening credits, and another near the film’s end.

The film is two hours and forty-one minutes long, and definitely drags at times. Still, the attempt at in-depth storytelling is commendable in the Marvel universe, though on a couple of occasions, the interjection of songs are distracting and recall 1980’s filmmaking. The underwater segments look somewhat realistic rather than cartoonish, and the reveal of the new Black Panther probably won’t surprise many – although the high-profile cameo might. Everything about the movie seems to set the stage for more sequels, all quite likely despite this one not reaching the unattainable level of the original.

Opens wide in theaters beginning November 11, 2022

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MEDIEVAL (2022)

September 9, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. There are some actors I follow simply because I admire their work. Ben Foster earned that loyalty with his performances in such films as LEAVE NO TRACE (2018), HELL OR HIGH WATER (2016), and 3:10 TO YUMA (2007). Here he is cast as Jan Zizka, the legendary 15th century Czech icon whom historians have pegged as having never lost a battle. At the helm is Czech writer-director Petr Jakl whose previous films did not come close to this scale. The list of credited screenwriters includes director Jakl, his father Petr Jakl Sr, Marek Dobes, Michal Petrus, Kevin Bernhardt, and Petr Bok. I don’t pretend to know which of these writers had the greatest impact, but what I can report is that the film looks great and includes some of the best battle scenes you’ll find in any film set in the Middle Ages.

Tyranny.” The narrator opens the film with that word, followed by an explanation of the ongoing battle for the power and control of the Catholic Church. That narrator is Lord Boresh, played by 2-time Oscar winner Michael Caine, who has paid Jan Zizka and his band of rebels to protect him from assassination attempts. Director Jakl doesn’t make us wait long for the first skirmish, and it gives us a taste of what’s to come. These are no-holds-barred battles where bones and faces are crushed, and horses toppled into rivers. This is Italy 1402.

After the battle, Zizka heads to Prague to reunite with his brother, and while he’s there, the political maneuvering and power-brokering is occurring. Those involved include Lord Boresh, the King of Bohemia (Karel Roden, ROCKNROLLA, 2008), his half-brother, the King of Hungary (Matthew Goode, THE IMITATION GAME, 2014), and nobleman Rosenberg (Til Schweiger, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, 2009). When Rosenberg refuses to cooperate, a plan is hatched to kidnap his fiancé Katherine (Sophie Lowe, so good in BLOW THE MAN DOWN, 2019), who also happens to be the niece of the King of France. It may seem challenging to keep the political alliances straight, but fear not, double-crossing and backstabbing adds to the fun.

Katherine is in fact kidnapped. And then kidnapped from the kidnappers. And then rescued … well, you get the idea. It seems her own allegiance transitions as she discovers the true character of her fiancé. Plus, it seems she walks at least 42 miles during all of this. What really makes this one worth watching are the battle scenes, including a face-off between Zizka and his mentor, the intimidating Torak (Roland Moller, ATOMIC BLONDE, 2017). The fights are bloody and gruesome and violent. The brutality is as realistic as you could want, while cinematographer Jesper Toffner captures these scenes in the most visceral manner possible … we are not let off the hook from the damage caused by swords, axes, maces, and mauls.

Director Jakl highlights Zizka as a military strategist and tactician, and not just a brute. It’s this part of the personality that best fits Foster’s talent. It’s difficult to know how much of this true story is accurate and how much is legend (always print the legend!), but the push for religious and political power and control seems a common topic regardless of century.

Opening in theaters on September 9, 2022

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DAY SHIFT (2022)

August 18, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. We are taught from an early age to take good care of our teeth. For vampires, oral health care is even more important. See, their fangs cannot grow back … in fact, that’s the only part of their bodies that those supernatural powers can’t heal. This leads us to the premise of this film – vampire hunters collecting fangs not just to thin the heard, but also for the monetary reward attached to such valuable collectibles. Look, I’m trying here; but this first feature from long-time stuntman and stunt coordinator JJ Perry suffers from a lackluster script seemingly gap-filled to connect a handful of decent ideas and raucous fight sequences.

Bud Jablonski (Oscar winner Jamie Foxx) is a struggling pool cleaner. He’s behind on his rent, and his daughter needs braces and her school tuition is due. Making things more stressful and urgent, his ex-wife Jocelyn (Meagan Good) is threatening to pack up and move their daughter Paige (rising star Zion Broadnax) cross-country from the San Fernando Valley to Florida. She gives Bud just a few days to raise the money. We get a tour of the familiar spots in the valley, and then quickly move to the first action sequence. Bud’s “real” job is hunting vampires and selling those precious fangs. He takes on an “old” lady in a cartoonish fight sequence that serves as a precursor to most every fight scene that follows. The fangs don’t bring much on the black market run by the always colorful Peter Stormare, but it leads Bud to request re-entry into the Vampire Hunter’s Union … a very inspired idea in a film that isn’t consistently filled with them. Bud’s sponsor is none other than the legendary vampire hunter, Big John Elliott (played masterfully by Snoop Dogg).

It turns out Bud has been expelled from the Union for multiple infractions over the years, and the shop steward (a mulleted Eric Lange) has one condition … Bud must be accompanied on his hunts by nerdy union clerk Seth (Dave Franco). What we soon learn is that Seth is not cut out for the field, and more importantly, Bud’s old lady kill was actually the daughter of Queen Vamp Audrey (Karla Souza), who also happens to be a real estate developer looking to mainstream the population of vampires into the Valley. Audrey seeks revenge by kidnapping Bud’s ex-wife and daughter, and Bud’s rescue mission becomes a veritable blood bath.

The Miami Vice joke made me chuckle, but for an action-horror-comedy, there are simply too few laughs. With the talent on screen, we can only look to the script for fault. Director Perry certainly knows his way around stunts and fight scenes, and while we may question the career choices of a very talented Jamie Foxx, he continues to work regularly and expand his producing skills. For those who enjoy sinking their teeth into over-the-top fight sequences (Perry worked on the first two John Wick movies) and aren’t too demanding on the cleverness of jokes, this one will likely work. And I likely speak for all viewers when I say that Snoop Dogg makes the coolest cowboy since ‘the man with no name’.

Opens on Netflix beginning August 12, 2022

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BULLET TRAIN (2022)

August 3, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. If you are one that still needs proof that movie stars matter, this latest from director David Leitch (a former stuntman who also directed ATOMIC BLONDE, 2017) and screenwriter Zak Olkewicz (adapted from Kotaro Isaka’s 2010 novel, “Maria Beetle”) may be submitted as evidence. Replace Brad Pitt with almost any other actor, and this one becomes borderline unwatchable. However, with the Oscar winner, there is sufficient charm, humor, and entertainment to keep us around for the more than two hour run time.

Mr. Pitt stars as Ladybug, a floppy bucket hat wearing last minute fill-in for an assassin who called in sick. His handler (voiced by Oscar winner Sandra Bullock) walks him through what is supposed to be a simple snatch and grab job involving a briefcase. Of course, it turns out to be anything but simple as the train is filled with what seems to be an endless stream of contract killers intent on securing the same briefcase. Among those are Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Lemon (Brian Tyree Henry). Mr. Taylor-Johnson continues his tradition of over-acting and lacking the charm he believes he has, while Mr. Henry’s obsession with Thomas the Tank Engine at least gives his character a reason for us to be annoyed. The two are referred to as British brothers or even ‘twins’, which gives you some idea of what the film wants you to buy as humor.

A slew of other characters include Joey King as Prince, the “Shibumi” reading type who pushes a kid off a roof, and then uses her skill of crying-on-demand to escape most danger; Andrew Koji as Kimura, that kid’s distraught father; Hiroyuki Sanada as Kimura’s father; Zazie Beetz as The Hornet; rapper Bad Bunny as Wolf; Logan Lerman as the son of a Russian gangster, and Lerman spends much of the movie auditioning for the title character in “Weekend at Bernie’s”; and Michael Shannon as said Russian gangster, White Death. Beyond all of these highly recognizable folks, we also get two very high-profile cameos, both used for comic effect.

In between the one-minute stops on the trip from Tokyo to Kyoto, there is an abundance of fighting – comical, rapidly-paced, and violent – using such available props as the features on a smart toilet, knives, guns, swords, poison, bombs, and a venomous (incorrectly labeled as poisonous in the movie) Boomslang snake. Since most of the action takes place on the train, we get action in passenger cars, the galley, the lounge, the control booth, and even on top of the speeding train.

It’s Pitt’s character who keeps us interested, and the movie drags when he is off screen. Ladybug is a skilled improvisational fighter, although his recent personal growth through therapy has him eschewing guns, dwelling on his inherent bad luck, and reciting affirmations and wisdoms, when he can remember them. Mostly, by golly, he just wants to be a nicer person (quite a short trip for a contract killer). This chaos and spontaneous convention of bad players were all part of White Death’s plan, which is revealed late in the film.

It appears director Leitch (a former renowned stuntman) worked diligently to create a new form of zany by blending Guy Ritchie’s best work with Tarantino’s “Kill Bill” films, and then adding a dash of ‘who-done-what-to-whom?” Instead, with the near slapstick action and goofy dialogue, it plays more like a modern day CANNONBALL RUN, which was also directed by a former stuntman (the legendary Hal Needham). As a bonus, we also get the Japanese version of “Stayin’ Alive”, replete with Brad Pitt strutting through Tokyo in tennis shoes.

Opens in theaters on August 5, 2022

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