FERRARI (2023)

December 31, 2023

Greetings again from the darkness. Since there was no early screening of this for Dallas-Ft Worth critics and it hit theaters on Christmas Day, this review is a bit tardy, yet I find myself not caring too much – kind of how I feel about the movie itself. Rossa corsa is the official name of the red color used by Italian automaker Ferrari on their racing cars. Of course, most just refer to it as ‘Ferrari red’. It’s as distinctive as the familiar roar of Ferrari engines, and director Michael Mann takes advantage of both in his latest film. If only the story were half as interesting as the racing scenes.

The original script was written by the late Troy Kennedy Martin, who also wrote the two film versions of THE ITALIAN JOB (1969, 2003). He adapted the 1991 book, “Enzo Ferrari: The Man and the Machine” written by the late Brock Yates. Mr. Yates is also (unfortunately) remembered for THE CANNONBALL RUN (1981). Rather than a biopic, the film focuses on a very specific and limited period of time when Enzo Ferrari was staring down trouble in both his personal and professional lives … ho-hum subjects that draw attention from the spectacular racing scenes.

Adam Driver stars as Enzo Ferrari, putting to use the Italian accent he worked on for the recent HOUSE OF GUCCI (2021). His wife Laura is played by Penelope Cruz, and his long-time mistress Lina is played by Shailene Woodley. Driver is on screen for much of the film, but it’s Cruz who delivers the two or three off-track scenes worth watching. As for Woodley, it’s a mystery why she even took the role. Given nothing to sink her acting claws into, we can only hope/assume that something of interest was edited out for time. She is far too talented to be wasted in such a throwaway role.

When one thinks of “Ferrari”, it’s not the icon in sunglasses strutting through life that comes to mind. No, it’s the cars. The red cars. And director Mann has built his career by giving us what we want in films such as THE INSIDER (1999), HEAT (1995), and THIEF (1981). The film soars when the cars are on screen. They are works of art and are a sight to behold whether zipping around the practice track or sharp-cornering the city streets of the tragic 1957 Mille Miglia (yes, that horrendous accident actually occurred). Ferrari’s financial woes, marital strife, and emotional burden of two sons, never successfully draw us in to his personal drama, leaving much of the movie feeling quite flat. It’s the cars that roar, not the people.

Opened nationally in theaters on December 25, 2023

WATCH THE TRAILER

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Posted by David Ferguson

OFFICIAL COMPETITION (2022, Spain)

June 16, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. Satire is one of the most challenging cinematic genres to get right. The script and performances are crucial, and the director must walk a fine line between too subtle and over-the-top. The long-time collaborative filmmaking team of co-writers and co-directors Mariano Cohn and Gaston Duprat, along with co-writer Andres Duprat, strike just the right chord and deliver a gem that is funny, insightful, and quite entertaining. The film was well received at last year’s Venice Film Festival, but is only now getting distribution.

We open on Don Umberto Suarez (Jose Luis Gomez), a wealthy pharmaceutical businessman, as he peruses the many gifts that have arrived for his 80th birthday. He’s in a reflective mood and wonders what he can do to secure his legacy so as not to be forgotten. Suarez debates between building a bridge or financing a “great” movie, one that will stand the test of time. He knows nothing of the film industry, and doesn’t bother to read the best-seller book he secures the rights to. He then meets with eccentric film director Lola Cuevas (Oscar winner Penelope Cruz, VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA, 2008), yet seems oblivious to what we see – her vision runs contrary to his, as evidenced by her production notebook that looks like a teenager’s scrapbook from summer camp. She buys in to his “best cast” demands and leaves him believing “his” film is in good hands.

Ms. Cruz is so perfect in this role that even her giant frizzy flame-red wig is simpatico with director Lola’s intense personality as an auteur. Things really take off when rehearsal begins and her two lead actors arrive. Antonio Banderas plays Felix Rivero, a global movie star who lives the rock star life with women and sports cars. He’s the personality antithesis of his co-star Ivan Torres, played by Oscar Martinez, a self-absorbed stage actor who views his world as prestigious, while mocking the glitz, glamor, and money that rules Felix’s world. An architecturally stunning art institute funded by Suarez serves as the rehearsal site, since it sits empty and unused.

Felix and Ivan are to play rival brothers, and the tension that develops between the two men is hilarious … and further spurred by Lola’s acting exercises. She prods Ivan on the simple line, “Good evening”, forcing him to repeat it multiple times, just as she toys with Felix on his level of intoxication (a range of 1 to 10). To increase the tension, Lola has the men rehearse underneath a giant boulder dangling overhead by crane. As the two actors battle it out for respect from the other and favoritism from Lola, the humor escalates at the same pace as egos are wounded. After scoffing at the mention of Felix’s awards, Ivan secretly practices his Oscar-acceptance speech in his dressing room. It becomes clear that each of the men want what the other has: Felix wants prestige, while Ivan wants recognition.

There are so many terrific scenes and moments here, including a foreshadowed twist and a sequence that combines industry awards, an industrial shredder, and the strength of Saran Wrap. All three lead actors are having a blast, and the supporting cast lends authenticity to this skewering of wealth, ego, art, and the film industry. Especially effective in support are Irene Escolar as Suarez’s daughter who has been cast in the film, and Pilar Castro as Violetta, Ivan’s equally pretentious wife. This is satire at it’s finest, and the filmmakers (and Ms. Cruz) even nail the ending. Kudos to one of my favorite movies of the year.

WATCH THE TRAILER

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Posted by David Ferguson

PARALLEL MOTHERS (2022)

January 13, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. As a devoted follower of films by Almodovar for more than 35 years, I still find myself enchanted by his stories, his visuals, his characters, and his consistency in writing complex and engaging parts for women. Oscar winning writer-director Pedro Almodovar’s last film, PAIN AND GLORY (2019) may be considered his semi-autobiographical masterpiece, but this latest proves he still has much to say, and will do so with his customary flair.

I often write about a filmmaker ‘delivering’ a film, and in this case, Almodovar literally serves up dueling deliveries in the maternity ward. The births are edited for a bit of comedic relief, but the sequence also makes the all-important point about the connection between the two mothers. Oscar winner Penelope Cruz stars as Janis, a woman pushing 40 who has a fling with married Arturo (Israel Elejalde). He’s the forensic archeologist working on the project to excavate a mass grave from the Spanish Civil War rumored to hold the remains of relatives of Janis, as well as others from the community.

While awaiting the birth of her child, Janis meets her roommate Ana (a terrific Milena Smit), a 17-year-old who is much less thrilled than Janis at the thought of becoming a mother. The two women of different ages, different attitudes, and different, yet similar, situations give birth on the same day at the same time – each becoming a single mother. The exhausted women have no clue of what is to cause their lives to become intertwined and push the story forward. While in recovery, we are introduced to each women’s support. Janis’ lifelong friend Elena (played by Almodovar favorite Rossy de Palma) bursts into the room (and onto the screen) in a flash of color and smile. On the other side, Ana’s narcissist mother Teresa (Aitana Sanchez-Gijon) immediately begins recounting her latest audition, which could lead to the big break in her acting career. As an afterthought, she then asks about the babies. We learn so much in these few minutes.

This becomes the story of the two women and their babies, yet always hovering is a story about the history of the country, and the families affected by the Spanish Civil War atrocities. The story structure isn’t seamless, but then neither is life … especially of those impacted. Past and present have unbreakable links, as do the generations of strong females who carried on. As Janis pursues the archaeological dig, we contrast that with the self-centered Teresa who states, “I’m apolitical. My job is to please everyone.” Of course, by the end, Janis, Ana, and Teresa have all grown as people after facing morally challenging dilemmas.

This is Penelope Cruz’s 8th Almodovar film, and, to no one’s surprise, she excels in the role of Janis. It’s unfortunate that very few actors receive Oscar recognition for Foreign Language films because her work stands with that of any actor this year. Almodovar is a master, and proves time and again that melodrama is not a taboo approach to storytelling when handled properly. On display throughout is his trademark use of color – in clothes, cars, art, and yes, the hospital room. Even his closing credits are stylish. Frequent Almodovar collaborators include Production designer Antxon Gomez, composer Alberto Iglesias (heavy on the strings), and cinematographer Jose Luis Alcaine … and what a team they make. The film can be viewed as a tribute to (and reminder of) the history of Almodovar’s beloved Spain. He even includes a fitting quote, “History refuses to shut its mouth”, something he works to ensure.

Opens in select theaters on January 14, 2022

WATCH THE TRAILER

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Posted by David Ferguson

PAIN & GLORY (2019)

October 17, 2019

 Greetings again from the darkness. This marks the 13th Pedro Almodovar movie I’ve seen over the last 33 years. There is no logical explanation for why I feel connected to his movies. It seems obvious I have very little in common with the provocative filmmaker from Spain who won an Oscar for his extraordinary 2002 film HABLA CON ELLA (TALK TO HER). Yet, his movies invariably strike an emotional chord with me – and none more so than his latest.

As with many of his previous films (and more than most), this one has a strong semi-autobiographical feel to it. Antonio Banderas stars as aging filmmaker Salvador Mallo. No other actor could have been cast in the role. This is, by my count, the eighth collaboration between actor and director … no actor has a better feel for Almodovar over the past three decades. It must be noted that Banderas does not stoop to impersonation or mimicry. OK, he has similar spiked hair, beard, fancy clothes and a museum-quality house … but the performance is all Banderas, and it’s a thing of beauty. Salvador is an aged man who looks defeated despite numerous career achievements. His physical pains are many – chronic back pain, migraines, sporadic choking – but it’s his emotional isolation and solitude that stands out. Salvador is a lonely man with signs of depression.

The film bounces between two time periods: Salvador as an older man with the above listed struggles, and young Salvador (Asier Flores) growing up in poverty with his mother Jacinta (Penelope Cruz) and dreaming of a better life. The elder Salvador is reflecting on the life journey that brought him to this point, while the younger Salvador is filled with youthful hope for the future, even as his core being is taking shape.

Cinemateque has remastered Salvador’s first big movie “Sabor” and have invited him to attend the screening and participate in the Q&A. He sees this as a chance to re-connect with the film’s star (and his long ago friend) Alberto Crespo (played by Asier Etxeandia). The two haven’t spoken in over 30 years due to bad blood and artistic differences during the filming of “Sabor”. Now understanding Alberto’s approach to the role, Salvador is told by an actress that ‘the movie hasn’t changed, but the eyes you see it through have’. Salvador visits Alberto and soon the actor is sharing his heroin stash with his director. Salvador continues “chasing the dragon” as a form of relief from his physical pain, and as an escape from his solitude. It seems to work much better than his cocktail of prescription drugs.

Rather than a film of drug addiction, this is a film of reflection. Fellini’s 81/2 (1963) is surely the most famous and iconic of the autobiographical films by a director, and though Fellini may have the advantage of esoteric artistry, Almodovar’s signature style is ever-present through primary colors (especially red) and memorable sets. Deserving of special mention are frequent Almodovar collaborators Antxion Gomez (Production Design), Maria Clara Notari (Art Direction), Paola Torres (Costume Design), and cinematographer Jose Luis Alcaine. The music is provided by 3-time Oscar nominee Alberto Iglesias.

There are some intimate and touching scenes in the film, as well as a couple of lines of dialogue that hit pretty hard. Circumstances are such that Salvador reunites with Federico (Leonardo Sbaraglia), the love of his life. It’s a tender reunion that lasts only a short time, but allows for needed closure for both men. There is also a sequence where Salvador is having a heartfelt and intimate conversation with his elderly mother (Julieta Serrano). She tells him he was not a good son. This conversation between adult son and mother is an example of things that should be said, but rarely are. Ms. Serrano previously played Mr. Banderas’ mother in WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN and MATADOR.

Almodovar’s movie premiered at Cannes, and it examines our expectations for life and how they contrast to our later recollections. The two timelines show one looking forward as the stage is set, and the other looking back at both the good times and bad. For an artist, it’s the life that molds their influences for their art/craft. Salvador’s memories even play like short movies. There may be no real plot to the film, and instead it focuses on reflection, introspection and perspective. “Love can’t cure the ones we love” is a gut-punch of a line, and one that can’t be comprehended until late in life. For an Almodovar film, this one is restrained and tempered – even tender at times. And yet despite this, it will stick with me for awhile.

watch the trailer:

 

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Posted by David Ferguson

EVERYBODY KNOWS (2019, Todos lo saben)

February 21, 2019

 Greetings again from the darkness. Sometimes we just click with the work of a particular filmmaker, and such is the case with Iranian-born Asghar Farhadi. From ABOUT ELLY (2009) to his two Oscar wins for Foreign Language films, the instant classic A SEPARATION (2011) and THE SALESMAN (2016), Mr. Farhadi has proven himself to be a terrific and distinct story teller. As an added bonus in this latest film, he works with cinematographer (and frequent Pedro Almodovar collaborator) Jose Luis Alcaine to take his visuals to a new level.

There is a playful and warm and familiar set-up before the switch is flipped. Laura (Penelope Cruz) has been living in Argentina with her husband Alejandro, teenage daughter Irene (Carla Campra) and young son Diego (Ivan Chavero), and has returned to her hometown outside of Madrid for her younger sister Ana’s (Inma Cuesta, THE BRIDE) wedding. Laura’s husband Alejandro did not make the trip, and that plays a role deeper in the story. Hugs and kisses are exchanged amongst some of the most attractive people you’ll see on screen as family and friends are reunited … including Laura and local vineyard owner Paco (Javier Bardem), who share a romantic history from years ago. We quickly learn that Laura’s daughter Irene is a bit rebellious and free-spirited as she re-establishes her connection with Paco’s lovestruck nephew.

Slowly, we are introduced to other friends and family members, including Paco’s wife Bea (Barbara Lennie). These introductions are vital, not for the raucous and music filled wedding reception, but for what happens after. Having put her to bed earlier, Laura comes back to find daughter Irene missing and the only clues are newspaper clippings from a local child kidnapping years past. A most festive evening has been jolted into panic and dread. Soon Laura receives an untraceable text (I guess that’s how it’s done these days) asking for a huge ransom. It’s at this point, where secrets previously kept begin to surface.

The Farhadi trademark kicks in about this time. Although Laura is understandably distraught and disoriented, it’s clear the story is less about the crime and more about the interactions of the characters – resentments, the weight of long held grudges, and more of those dark secrets that begin to find the light. Everyone is a suspect, including Laura’s husband Alejandro (Ricardo Darin, THE SECRET IN THEIR EYES) who shows up convinced God will protect his daughter. The worst traits of human nature are on full display as quick assumptions are drawn. There are lots of pieces to this puzzle and it’s dizzying fun keeping track.

Trust within the family and amongst friends is at the core of the story, and Mr. Farhadi makes solving the crime secondary to the actions and reactions of these folks who have known each other for so long. Melodrama abounds (in a good way) and there are some wonderful visuals, including drone photography from the wedding reception, and an opening sequence featuring the church bell tower and clock. This is the 5th film collaboration between real life couple Cruz and Bardem (the most recent being the disappointing LOVING PABLO), and both are exceptional here. Ms. Cruz offers up a gut-wrenching performance and Mr. Bardem is a joy to watch as he struggles with emotions too complex to verbalize. This is Mr. Farhardi’s first Spanish language film, but it’s clear his subject matter and characters are universally recognized.

watch the trailer:

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Posted by David Ferguson

LOVING PABLO (2018)

October 4, 2018

 Greetings again from the darkness. The first two seasons of the popular and critically acclaimed TV show “Narcos” focuses on the Medellin Cartel and its leader Pablo Escobar, and with multiple episodes, it was able to show immense detail in both the man and his business dealings (drug trafficking). In contrast, this feature length film from writer/director Fernando Leon de Aranoa takes more of a snapshot-in-time approach to Escobar’s rise to power and the reasons for his downfall.

Based on the memoir “Loving Pablo, Hating Pablo” by Columbian journalist and TV personality Virginia Vallejo, director de Aranoa spends quite a bit of time on the relationship between Escobar and Ms. Vallejo. The reason this works is due to the onscreen (and off) connection between lead actors Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz (a married couple in real life). We see the sparks and feel the sexual energy between them in their first meeting, and then later, both show off their acting talents as times get tough … she frightened for her life, he as defiant and cold-blooded as ever.

Javier Bardem flashes quite the pot belly for a man known as “Robin Hood” for building houses for the poor, and feared as “El Patron” (The Boss) for obvious reasons. Having grown up in poverty, it was drug trafficking which brought him such power and made him a billionaire. We see his interactions with his wife (Juliet Restrepo) and kids, as well as some glimpses of how he handled his staff and business dealings. Ruthless and intimidating are the two words that come to mind.

The film begins with a sequence from 1993, but soon flashes back to a 1981 party at Escobar’s immense compound … and yes, the zoo animals did roam on site. We are informed this is the real beginning of the Medellin Cartel, and by 1982 we learn they made it “snow cocaine in the U.S.”. Remarkably, Escobar was elected to the Chamber of Representatives of Columbia, and we watch him quote Nancy Reagan to his son (“Just say no”) as he explains cocaine to the young boy.

Ms. Cruz shines as Virginia Vallejo, who allows herself to get caught up in the power and money … foolishly thinking she can stay above the fray. Since the film is inspired by the true events recounted in Ms. Vallejo’s book, there are quite a few chilling moments – maybe none more dramatic than Escobar’s gift to her of a handgun and his corresponding monologue. The film covers New York City and then Panama, all while Peter Sarsgaard plays the DEA agent tracking Escobar’s movements.

We see 1991, when Escobar turns himself in and heads to jail – all so he can restructure his business within the confines of what might better be described as a resort … one which he presides over. After his escape from a military prison in 1992, an all-out war breaks out on the street, and we know the end is near.

Look, Pablo Escobar was a despicable man running a despicable business. He’s so mean, he even abuses a plate of spaghetti in one scene – that’s just the kind of guy he was. If you know the basics of his story, the film isn’t likely to teach you much. It’s really just a dramatization of one of the most infamous (and successful) drug traffickers we’ve seen, although the recreation of his death scene does a superb job in capturing the detail of the famous photograph. He’s not a guy we really care to learn about, however, since much of it is told through Virginia Vallejo’s eyes, we at least get somewhat of a human and personal perspective.

watch the trailer:

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Posted by David Ferguson

MA MA (Spain, 2016)

May 7, 2016

Dallas International Film Festival 2016

ma ma Greetings again from the darkness. It’s usually easy to bash the movies that go heavy on sentimentality. It’s possible that even Steve Goodman would agree that this latest from writer/director Julio Medem (Sex and Lucia, 2000) could be the outline for a perfect country song: Mama’s husband leaves her for a younger woman/student; Mama loses her teaching job; Mama gets breast cancer; Mama’s new friend experiences a life tragedy; Mama and her new friend fall in love; Mama gets more bad news; Mama gets some good and unexpected news; things don’t end well for Mama. Mix in a train, a truck and prison, and there would be no argument.

Penelope Cruz produces and stars as Magda, the titular Ma Ma whose singing gynecologist breaks the news that her breast cancer will require chemotherapy followed by a mastectomy. What follows could be called a whirlwind of tragedies involving Magda, her son Dani (Teo Plannel) and the soccer scout Arturo (Luis Tosar) and the aforementioned doctor (Asier Etxeandia).

The fine performance of Penelope Cruz keeps the film moving through the first two acts, and she is just so darn likable that we find ourselves really pulling for her. The strength and spirit of this woman has a positive influence on all who come in contact with her. She has an odd impact on the doctor who is clearly attracted to her, and they share a most awkward and unnecessary running dialogue about a young Siberian girl that he and his wife are considering adopting.

The third act quite simply pushes the film over-the-top, as it goes beyond sentimentality and into pure Lifetime channel mush. The film is probably a bit too slick and stylized, given the real struggles of battling cancer; however, the point of female strength is not lost … though the “save the nipple” and “the soul doesn’t die” discussions deliver a few eye rolls.

watch the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSYc0uxoE4w

 

 

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Posted by David Ferguson

ZOOLANDER 2 (2016)

February 12, 2016

zoolander2 Greetings again from the darkness. Here comes yet another write up where I am out of step with the majority of film critics. While most are heaping hatred on it for idiocy and self-obsession, my response is … isn’t that the point of a sequel to Zoolander, itself a tribute to idiocy and self-obsession? Maybe the difference stems from my not being a big fan of the 2001 original. Granted, the sub-plot of child labor from the original was (and remains) a real world issue, while this one is fuzzy-focused on a plot to kill the beautiful people in hopes of finding the fountain of youth … less real world tragedy and more like holding a mirror up to society’s insecurities.

The fashion industry was skewered in the original, but couldn’t wait to embrace this sequel. In the 15 years since that first Zoolander, a symbiotic relationship has formed between TV – Movies – Music – Fashion. The lines are blurred now that actors have become models and models are acting. TV shows are built around fashion and fashion shows boost music. And all of these elements are tied into the explosion of social media outlets. The greatest impact yet is probably the fact that most every person has a camera (phone) attached to them at all times and in every environment … we have a citizenry of selfie-taking models.

What can’t be denied is that the sequel is a smorgasbord of celebrity cameos (some might call it overkill). There are times the cameos pop up so fast that it’s challenging to keep up. Spotting the celebs, following the sight gags and catching the one-liners … that’s the tripod on which writer/director/star Ben Stiller has built his Zoolander second home. Though it’s not as quotable as the original, the production value is much improved. Never is this more evident than the slick looking opening chase scene that sets the stage for national narcissism being attacked for the next 90 minutes.

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson return as male models Derek Zoolander and Hansel, though when we first see them, they have been in years-long hiding … Derek claiming to live as a “hermit crab”. The film begins by catching us up on why they are in hiding (it’s related to Derek’s Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good), and what’s up with others like Mugatu (Will Ferrell), Derek’s wife Matilda (Christine Taylor), and Billy Zane (Billy Zane). The gag is that Derek and Hansel are now “old and lame” … literally out of fashion in fashion.

As with most comedies, it’s best to avoid the trailer and any details or punchlines before walking into the theatre. You need only know that the old favorite characters are still here and an army of new ones (including Penelope Cruz and Kristen Wiig) arrive – some for a few scenes, others for only a few seconds. Satire is still the name of the game and the biggest fashion icons are front and center: Marc Jacobs, Tommy Hilfiger, Valentino, Anna Wintour and “both Wangs”. A big assist goes to Kiefer Sutherland who joins in the fun of poking fun at his own image. There’s even a jab at celebrity political endorsements with the line “She’s hot. I trust her.”

Justin Theroux is back as Stiller’s co-writer and also plays a role in the sub-plot involving Derek’s son, and the script proudly plays homage to the original (as it should) while still moving into contemporary themes (as it should). So “Relax” (nod to Frankie) and take in the fun. It’s the type of fun akin to riding a roller coaster … fun while it lasts, and over when it’s over. To paraphrase Derek, it’s a ‘really really ridiculously’ good time.

No trailer posted (it’s for your own good!)

 

 

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Posted by David Ferguson

THE COUNSELOR (2013)

October 27, 2013

counselor Greetings again from the darkness. The best dramatic writers thrive on creating a story filled with intricacies, multi-faceted characters, mis-direction, and a complex interweaving of sub-plots. Cormac McCarthy has proved he is one of the best such writers through his highly successful novels … some of which have made the transition to the screen: All the Pretty Horses, The Road, and of course, No Country for Old Men. This, however, is his first attempt at an original screenplay. Describing it as a disappointment is a severe understatement.

The cool parts of this movie: Bruno Ganz as a diamond dealer in Amsterdam and the two live cheetahs.

counselor2 The parts of the film that could have been interesting: the wardrobes of all main characters, Javier Bardem’s Brian Grazer-inspired hairdo, the line-up of luxury vehicles (Bentley, Ferrari, etc), and the “bolito”.

The parts of this movie that were never going to work: the opening scene with Michael Fassbender and Penelope Cruz frolicking under the sheets, dialogue that is too poetic for the characters, Brad Pitt as his grown up scammer from Thelma and Louise, Fassbender’s Texas accent, and Cameron Diaz (gold tooth, silver fingernails, cheetah tats).

counselor4 The part of this movie that is an outright disgrace: Cameron Diaz doing the splits while having intimate relations with the windshield of Bardem’s Ferrari … maybe this idea came from Joe Eszterhas after being rejected as too outlandish for Showgirls.

Chances are viewers will fall into two camps: thinking this is a wild and crazy ride inside the Mexican drug cartel, OR believing this is one of 2013’s sloppiest, messiest, most pointless and confusing wastes of time in a movie theater. I am solidly in group two and can’t even recommend you see this to determine where you fall.

The cast is filled with A-listers: Javier Bardem, Brad Pitt, Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, and Cameron Diaz. The writer is a renowned novelist. The director is three time Oscar nominee Ridley Scott. How could it miss? Even the best actors can counselor3sometimes be miscast. Even the best writers have work best left unpublished. Even the best directors lose control of a project. It’s a movie tragedy when all those things happen in a single film.

I guess the best running joke throughout the movie is that Fassbender’s titular character is constantly receiving counseling, rather than offering it. At its core, the story is just another drug deal gone bad (do any movie drug deals ever go “right”?). With it’s unusual visuals, unrealistic conversations, and convoluted sub-plots, this one would have played better as a slideshow. Instead, I am left with this: I’ll never look at a smudge on my windshield the same again.

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: your cable system doesn’t offer the National Geographic channel and you want to see two cool cheetahs

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: just the thought of Cameron Diaz humping a windshield stimulates only nightmares for you

watch the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrAXTxNrsi8

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Posted by David Ferguson

TO ROME WITH LOVE (2012)

July 22, 2012

 Greetings again from the darkness. I certainly consider myself a fan of Woody Allen‘s films and am in awe of his prolific ability to write and direct a new movie most every year since 1969. With so many films to his credit, it’s expected that a few will be clunkers. After a pretty nice run of non-New York based films, his love letter to Rome falls short … not from lack of ambition, but rather from a feeling that these stories have been on his “to do” list for too many years. They feel mostly stale and dated.

With one of the world’s most beautiful and interesting cities as a backdrop, Mr. Allen delivers four stories – none of which intersect with the others. There are some similar shared themes, but mostly what the four stories have in common is mass overacting by all involved. Surprisingly, the one exception might be Alec Baldwin, whose wise-cracking lines are played pretty close to the vest. Unfortunately, all of the other key actors seem to think they are onstage at a dinner theatre and that hyper-activity and bellowing one’s lines are required.

In one story, Woody Allen (his first acting gig since Scoop) and Judy Davis head to Rome to meet their daughter’s (Alison Pill) fiancé (Flavio Parenti). Allen overhears the mortician father singing in the shower and works out a scheme to get him an audition that could lead to a career. The father is played by famed Opera tenor Fabio Armiliato and this story is so goofy, it could easily fit into Allen’s “early funny ones”.

Another story has newlyweds played by Alessandro Tiberi and Alessandro Mastronardi in a series of innocent happenstance that leads to some not so innocent events that include her favorite actor (Antonio Albanes) and high-priced call girl (Penelope Cruz). Most of this has the feel of a Benny Hill skit.

Jesse Eisenberg and his girlfriend Greta Gerwig share time with her visiting friend played by Ellen Page. This is the Alec Baldwin sequence, and he is a near-ghost-like entity who pops in to provide obvious advice or warning to the players so they don’t make the same mistakes he made as a younger man. This sequence had potential, but never amounted to much.

The fourth story is just an absurd commentary on reality TV and instant fame. Roberto Begnini plays a normal Italian citizen and family man who one day gets thrust into the world of celebrity for no apparent reason. See, that’s the joke. Probably ten years past the time when this was relevant.

Bashing Woody Allen is not my intent here. Simply pointing out that there are four stories and numerous actors and none of it struck a chord with me. Not to say there weren’t a few well written lines and a couple of terrific shots of Rome … just not enough to keep me going for two hours.

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: you need your annual Woody Allen fix, even if it’s not up to the level of last year’s Midnight in Paris OR you just want to see Penelope Cruz in a red dress that’s probably two sizes too small for her.

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: catching a few glimpses of the amazing sites in Rome is not enough reason for you to sit through some of Woody Allen’s worst written dialogue in years.

watch the trailer:

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Posted by David Ferguson

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