FREAKY TALES (2025)

April 4, 2025

Greetings again from the darkness. While I’m unsure whether this qualifies as a tetraology, this oddball and zany film consists of four separate yet interrelated stories with crossover characters.  Previous collaborations from the film’s co-writers and co-directors, Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, include CAPTAIN MARVEL (2019), the underrated IT’S KIND OF A FUNNY STORY (2010), and SUGAR (2008).

It’s 1987 and the audience for a just-ended movie is making its way outside the Grand Lake Theater in “hella wild” Oakland, California. A truck full of neo-Nazis spew vile at the patrons as they cruise by. Best friends Lucid (Jack Champion, RETRIBUTION) and Tina (Ji-young Yoo, “ExPats”) make their way to The Gilman for some live music. There is an unrequited love connection between the two friends as the jam, but things turn violent when the neo-Nazis show up. Punks vs Nazi bullies goes full bore.

In Chapter Two, Dominique Thorne and Nomani make up the group Danger Zone, and as they leave the previously mentioned movie, they are verbally abused by the Nazis and recognized by someone who invites them to Rap Battle the great Too $hort. It’s in this segment where Ben Mendelsohn identifies himself as a cop … and the Rap Battle features some blistering lyrics.

The next chapter finds Pedro Pascal’s Clint as the collections muscle behind a crime lord, and as his pregnant wife waits in the car, Clint has a hilarious interaction with Hank, a video store manager played by Oscar winner Tom Hanks. Hank peppers Clint with movie trivia questions, despite Pascal being there for a completely different reason.

Throughout the story, there are references to the local NBA team, the Warriors, and their playoff series against the hated Lakers. Local legend “Sleepy” Floyd is mentioned, and the final chapter pretty much belongs to Sleepy (played by Jay Ellis) and Ben Mendelsohn. Angus Cloud (“Euphoria”) passed away in 2023 and he excels in his scenes with Mendelsohn. Sleepy Floyd goes off on a mystical rampage of revenge and it’s a visually volent treat.

If you are the type of movie goer seeking nuance … this ain’t the place. The filmmakers play homage to 1980’s genre films like REPO MAN (replete with neon green eye glow), while PULP FICTION is another obvious influence (Chapter 4 resembles KILL BILL a few times). Raphael Saddiq’s score is a nice complement, and you’ll note cameos from Keir Gilchrist, Marshawn Lynch (driving a bus), Too $hort, and the real Sleepy Floyd. Unfortunately we are never given instructions on how to register for “Sleepy’s Mind Wide Awake” seminar. A grain of salt is included.

Opens April 4, 2025

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Posted by David Ferguson

NOVOCAINE (2025)

March 13, 2025

Greetings again from the darkness. In decades past, we wouldn’t have been surprised in the least to see a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Dennis Quaid. In fact, in 1973 Jack co-starred with Dennis’ brother Randy in one of my favorite films, THE LAST DETAIL. Well, here we are more than fifty years later, and Dennis’ (and Meg Ryan’s) son Jack Quaid is co-starring with Jack’s son Ray Nicholson in what is sure to be one of this year’s most outlandish action-comedies.  The screenplay is by Lars Jacobson and the film is co-directed by Dan Berk and Robert Olsen, who also collaborated on BODY (2015).

REM’s “Everybody Hurts” plays over the opening credits and sequence which provide hints to the measures Nathan Caine (Jack Quaid, COMPANION, 2025) has taken around his house. With tennis balls shielding sharp corners and a stop to prevent scalding water in the shower, Nathan appears to be quite accident-prone. We learn he’s a good-guy Assistant Manager at a local San Diego bank, and profiles as nebbish in his looks and skittish mannerisms … especially around new bank teller Sherry (Amber Midthunder, THE ICE ROAD, 2021). Sensing his awkwardness and attraction, Sherry takes charge and asks Nathan to lunch. A bite of cherry pie leads Nathan to disclose his rare genetic disorder – he simply cannot feel pain (thus explaining the earlier tennis balls).

One personal disclosure leads to another, which leads to an art gallery, which leads to romantic intimacy and what easily could spin off into a familiar quirky rom-com with these two. Instead, while Nathan is riding an emotional high, three men dressed as Santa Claus violently rob the bank on Christmas Eve and take Nathan’s new squeeze Sherry as hostage. This sends our wimpy superhero Nathan (nicknamed Novocaine by junior high bullies) on a rescue mission. His previous fighting experience has been limited to online video game sessions with Roscoe (Jacob Batalon, Ned from Marvel movies), although the two have never actually met.

The fight sequences are quite violent and absurdly comical in how they take advantage of Nathan’s blend of physical disorder, nice guy tendencies, and commitment to rescuing his first love. Creativity is at maximum volume as Nathan takes on a red-hot frying pan and boiling oil in a restaurant kitchen skirmish, replete with bodily poundings that would leave anyone else shattered. Things really pick up in a wickedly booby-trapped house that sets up a HOME ALONE joke. Mostly, however, the body horror serves as punchline after punchline … some surely to tweak even the most squeamish movie goers.

Ray Nicholson (I LOVE YOU FOREVER, 2024) provides a jolt of adrenaline and psychotic violent behavior to ensure no one watching still believes this is a rom-com in the making. His Simon thrives not so much on the money from the robberies as the power and control he displays and the torture he doles out. The finale battles between Simon and Nathan are extreme and creatively unique. While the entertainment value is present, there are still some minor issues with the story and proceedings. The detectives on the case are played by Betty Gabriel (GET OUT, 2017) and Matt Walsh (“Veep”). These two talented actors are given very little to do and it’s a shame their roles weren’t beefed up a bit. Additionally, there is a key twist that will surprise almost no one. Is it even a twist if they tell you it’s coming?

The action scenes are purposefully absurd, and although some bits are over-the-top, others are pure comedy-action brilliance. Jack Quaid is fitting right in to his lead character roles, and Ray Nicholson is mastering the wild-eyed psycho dude. Amber Midthunder shows yet again how immensely talented she is, and it’s likely her future roles will take advantage of what she brings on screen. My personal biggest hope is that the filmmakers avoid a sequel … one which would likely leave us viewers disappointingly numb (had to work in one pun).

Opens in theaters on March 14, 2025

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Posted by David Ferguson

PANDA PLAN (2025, China)

February 17, 2025

Greetings again from the darkness. Jackie Chan starring as … Jackie Chan! He’s an international action-comedy star appearing in this international action-comedy as himself. In fact, one of the running gags has various people questioning if it’s really “him” and whether or not he can actually fight like he does in his movies. The film is from writer-director Luan Zhang and co-writers Wei Xu and Meng Yida.

An amped-up and expansive action sequence opens the movie. It’s also where we learn Jackie is playing Jackie. He’s a bit frustrated at the roles he’s being offered (the man is now 70 years old) and quickly jumps at the opportunity to adopt a rare baby panda. Not only does he find the cub irresistibly cute, but so does the entire universe … including a Middle Eastern dude willing to pay $100 million to a group of mercenaries to steal (bear-nap?) and deliver the panda. Jackie arrives at the island zoo at just about the same time as the bad guys’ pirate ship. What follows is rampant chaos as Jackie and the panda’s nanny, Su Xizozhu (Chi Se) try to protect the (CGI) cub.

For most of the movie the panda is referred to as ‘Big Babe’, but is blessed with an actual name later in the game. The film is purposefully cartoonish and leans heavily into Jackie Chan’s natural charm and presence. It likely would have played better as a pure family film about a cute panda, and aimed squarely at kids, but unfortunately, the action sequences pack enough violence to keep the youngsters away. There are some entertaining sequences … including a rare escape utilizing a forklift as a getaway vehicle. The finale lifts the story from the dark cloud that hung over most of the film, and Jackie Chan fans will be thrilled to know that a sequel is already in the works for next year.

On digital and Blu-ray on February 18, 2025

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Posted by David Ferguson

THE GORGE (2025)

February 14, 2025

Greetings again from the darkness. Most every Valentine’s Day, we get at least one romantic-comedy designed for a sweet and harmless date night. Well, this one ain’t it. Instead, if you thrive on romance loaded with danger and action sequences and mysterious monsters and decades old experimental weapons … we have just the movie for you. Director Scott Derrickson (THE BLACK PHONE, 2021; THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE, 2005) and screenwriter Zach Dean (THE TOMORROW WAR, 2021) deliver the rare sci-fi/action/monster/romance thriller, and were wise enough to cast two charming, well-liked young actors for the leads.

The film opens with Drasa (Anya Taylor-Joy) executing a long-distance kill shot assassination, while Levi (Miles Teller) springs out of bed in a cold sweat due to PTSD. He’s soon beckoned to Camp Pendleton by a power broker played by Sigourney Weaver. As an elite sniper who has done work for the military, Levi has been ‘retired’ for four years, and with no relationship strings attached, he’s perfect for the year-long secret mission – he must jump from an airplane in an unknown location and hike 30 km to report. He’s met there by his predecessor (Sope Dirisu) who fills him in on the basics of the mission: guard the ‘door to hell’ … the giant gorge below filled with unknown danger … while hanging out all alone in the west tower.

Guess who is in the east tower. Right! It’s Drasa, straight from visiting her cancer-stricken dad in their homeland of Lithuania. These two sharp-shooting mercenaries are perched in their opposing towers assigned with defending the gorge from unknown threats. It’s a mission I would have turned down, but it makes for a terrific movie set-up, especially since they have been instructed to avoid contact with the person in the opposite tower. But what kind of movie would that be?

A reference is made to T.S. Eliot’s poem, “The Hollow Men”, and Levi spends a good deal of each day reading and writing poetry. In the other tower, Drasa is a bit more antsy. She dances to music and doesn’t hesitate long in making contact with Levi. The two exchange cross-gorge notes, in a similar manner to LOVE ACTUALLY (2003), only with long-distance binoculars and more humor. Of course, the solitude gets to both and not surprisingly, they figure out a way to connect – as most young, beautiful, world-class snipers would. They even play chess and drums, in obvious callbacks to each actor’s most successful roles.

Their connection is fun to watch, and of course, as seasoned movie watchers, we know the unknown threat from within the gorge will soon enough interrupt the love story. Things get pretty nuts when the grisly creatures from below mix with our two lovebirds and heroes. The explanation is a bit much, but the action sequences are fine – quite the contrast to the first half of the story. We noted some similar touches to films like John Carpenter’s THE THING (1982), Ridley Scott’s ALIEN (1979), and Alex Garland’s ANNIHILATION (2018), although I don’t recall those films including a dose of romance for Valentine’s Day … and certainly this is the first featuring “O Come All Ye Faithful” performed by Twisted Sister, along with a creepy score from Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, and cinematography from Dan Laustsen (THE SHAPE OF WATER, 2017). It’s an unusual film, and just know that Drasa and Levi will always have Eze (France).

Opens in theaters on Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2025

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Posted by David Ferguson

GLADIATOR II (2024)

November 22, 2024

Greetings again from the darkness. Like many of you, I’m not usually a fan of sequels. Too often they feel like a money grab or an unapologetically opportunistic way to capitalize on previous success without much creativity or artistry required. Of course, there are exceptions. Sometimes sequels advance the story or offer additional development on an interesting character. So where does this one fit? It’s been almost a quarter-century since GLADIATOR (2000) received 12 Oscar nominations, winning 5, including Best Picture. The original is a film I revere. Director Ridley Scott is back at the helm, and at age 86, he proves he’s still a master of scope and scale and visceral action sequences.

Russell Crowe is not back for this one, and if you saw the first film, you understand why. Crowe is shown in a couple of flashbacks and is mentioned periodically. But this film belongs to Paul Mescal as Lucius, a natural leader and preternatural fighting soldier. That last sentence probably seems like a mistake to anyone who has seen Mescal in ALL OF US STRANGERS (2023), AFTERSUN (2022), or THE LOST DAUGHTER (2021). In each of those films, his talent and presence were obvious, yet he gave no indication of being able to play a tough warrior. After bulking up for the role, Mescal proceeds to step into movie stardom, as he truly commands the screen.

Much like Maximus (Crowe) in the first film, Lucius (Mescal) is forced into slavery, which translates into Gladiator training and fighting for Macrinus (two-time Oscar winner Denzel Washington). However, this comes after one of the most intense and ferocious opening battle scenes we’ve ever witnessed on screen. During this battle, Lucius’ wife Arishat (Yuval Gonin), a fierce warrior herself, is killed by the Roman General Acacius (Pedro Pascal, “The Mandolorian”), setting off grief and a thirst for revenge in Lucius. Once he’s witnessed Lucius fighting, the overly ambitious and conniving Macrinus pegs Lucius as driven by “the rage”, and sees him as a secret weapon in his quest for power.

Acacius turns out to be husband of Lucilla (Connie Nielsen reprising her role) and is hailed a Roman hero by the goofball twin emperors Geta (Joseph Quinn, A QUIET PLACE: DAY ONE, 2024) and Caracalla (Fred Hechinger, THELMA, 2024). Lucilla has maintained her clandestine connection to the council, led by Gracchus (a returning Derek Jacobi, now 84 years old). Political maneuvering and desire for power are at the forefront for most of these characters, yet it’s Lucius and his determination that harken back to the themes of the original … oh, and a very personal connection that most will have figured out from the trailer.

The Colosseum battles (and effects) are spectacular, and include a tribe of saber-toothed baboons, a giant and ferocious prehistoric rhinoceros, and a shiver (that’s what it’s called) of hungry sharks that appear once the Colosseum floor is flooded. There’s a certain satirical symmetry to using sharks to ‘jump the shark’. Although the sharks are a bit questionable (and likely not historically accurate), the best and most brutal fighting occurs mano y mano. Of course, we know that Lucius will get his shot at revenge, and maybe even redemption … the only questions are how and when.

Paul Mescal handles the role of Lucius with aplomb, and Denzel Washington appears to be having an extraordinarily good time as power-hungry Macrinus – a significant (and welcome) departure from his usual roles. Additionally, the technical aspects of the film are stellar. Ridley Scott brings back many of his previous collaborators from the 2000 film. John Mathieson is back as Cinematographer, while Arthur Max and Janty Yates return as Production Designer and Costume Designer, respectively. This sequel is co-written by David Scarpa and Peter Craig, and David Franzoni gets credit for his original characters. Arguments can be made both ‘for’ and ‘against’ the need for this sequel, especially since the look and tone are so similar to the original. However, very few can claim that this is anything but an entertaining spectacle loaded with stunning visuals – and a straightforward link to the original. The two films can rightfully claim strength and honor. It should be noted that Ridley Scott has already announced plans for a third film in the series, and by nature, I fall right back into my skeptical self, questioning the need.

Opening wide in theaters on November 22, 2024

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Posted by David Ferguson

CLASSIFIED (2024)

October 21, 2024

Greetings again from the darkness. Spy-thrillers typically fall into one of two categories: complex and smart (TINKER TAILOR SPY, 2011) or action-packed (KANDAHAR, 2023), although many combine the two elements quite successfully (MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE, 1996). This film from director Roel Reine and screenwriter Bob Derosa slams us with action sequences while only teasing us with bits of what could have been a clever story.

Aaron Eckhart stars as ultra-talented (dangerous) operative Evan Shaw. Yet despite his particular set of skills, it turns out Evan doesn’t even know who he works for … or at least who the guy he works for (limited screen time Tim Roth) works for. And he is somehow blissfully unaware that a young lady, Kacey Walker (Abigail Breslin) is following him. Evan always carries a sketchbook. He uses it to decode the messages he receives in the classified section of old school newspapers (the ones printed on paper), and to draw the areas and people he crosses paths with – think of it as pretty incriminating evidence of his past deeds.

At first neither Evan nor us viewers know the point Kacey is trying to make, but she certainly exposes the sham structure he’s been working under and puts them both in mortal danger. The team sent to end Evan is led by a guy carrying a GPS device and barking orders while sporting a horrible haircut. This leads to too many shootouts to count, each with some of the worst aim that we’ve ever witnessed – either that or Evan is a superhero. His flesh and blood are revealed at one point disproving the superhero theory, but it should be noted that some of the worst electronic music you’ve ever hear plays over action sequences.

On the bright side, some of the cinematography belongs in a better movie, as does Mr. Eckhart. The final shootout goes so overboard, I actually felt a bit sorry for Aaron Eckhart, the professional actor. It’s a high-octane spy thriller with lots of gunplay for those seeking more booms and bangs. For those looking for the cleverly woven multi-faceted spy plot, it’s probably best to keep looking.

Releases on VOD and digital on October 22, 2024

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Posted by David Ferguson

WOLFS (2024)

September 26, 2024

Greetings again from the darkness. George Clooney and Brad Pitt are both two-time Oscar winners and are both north of 60 years old now. This latest film from writer-director Jon Watts (three Spider-Man movies) seems to ask the question: Are they still cool in a wise-cracking action movie star way? It’s been twenty-three years since the two long-time friends co-starred in the first (of 3) “Ocean’s” movies, and there is no doubt they were the epitome of cool then. But what about now?  And does it matter? The argument can be made that it does matter since so few non-superhero and non-comic book movies are capable of drawing big crowds to the theater these days. Unfortunately, this film won’t answer the question about drawing power, as a very limited one-week theatrical release will be followed by a run on Apple TV+.

The sound of shattering glass is followed by three F-words, the first dialogue we hear (and also the last). It turns out, the local District Attorney (Amy Ryan, “The Office”) is justified in using the language as she finds herself in a luxury hotel room with an apparently dead, underwear-clad young man on the floor, and blood all over her clothes. Now, if you or I were in this situation, we would quickly surmise there is no way out. In contrast, a powerful politician has a phone number to call. Soon, George Clooney is at her door. He’s a “fixer” or “cleaner”, depending on your preferred nomenclature. He’s calm and cool (there’s that word again) under pressure, and claims to be the only one who can do what he does. This claim is soon shattered as Brad Pitt shows up – equally calm and cool (!) – disavowing Clooney’s ‘only’ claim. If not for the blood and the body, Amy Ryan might be just fine with Clooney and Pitt popping into her hotel room. But that “if” looms large.

Circumstances being what they are, the two lone ‘wolfs’ are forced to work together. Their rivalry is enhanced by the one-liners, facial gestures, and body language that stems from Clooney and Pitt knowing each other so well. Their mission is made abundantly clear once a bag with four bricks of heroin is found … just prior to the body on the floor springing back to life. What follows is a unique and extended (too long) chase scene through the city at night. It turns out the body/young man/kid (played well by Austin Abrams, PAPER TOWNS, “Euphoria”) adds to the complication for our two fixers … despite finding them quite cool (!).

This trio crosses paths with Poorna Jagannathan (“The Night Of”) playing a Chinatown doctor they can trust, Zlatko Buric playing a nasty Albanian mob boss, and Richard Kind as the Kid’s dad with a Sinatra fixation (in a clever scene). It’s entertaining to see the long-time friends playing on screen rivals – both with bad backs, reading glasses, and a shared bottle of Advil. They probably aren’t as witty (or cool) as they imagine, but filmmaker Watts uses their camaraderie as an asset (and also Sade’s “Smooth Operator”). You’ll notice a few tips of the cap to previous characters and films, including Butch and Sundance near the end. Although she’s uncredited, you’ll appreciate knowing that is Oscar winner Frances McDormand’s voice on the phone in an early scene. Overall, it’s decent entertainment while reminding us to “check the pulse.”

Premieres on Apple TV+ beginning September 27, 2024

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Posted by David Ferguson

THE CROW (2024)

August 22, 2024

Greetings again from the darkness. It’s been thirty years since Alex Proyas directed THE CROW (1994). Unfortunately, the cult favorite is forever remembered as being the set on which lead actor Brandon Lee (son of the legendary Bruce Lee) died an accidental and tragic death. Along the way, there have been lesser sequels. There have also been so many rumors of a re-boot over the last fifteen years, that I remained a bit doubtful until the opening credits actually began to roll.

Director Rupert Sanders (GHOST IN THE SHELL, 2017) and co-writers Zach Baylin (KING RICHARD, 2021) and William Josef Schneider have avoided the “remake” label, while offering their version of the comic book series from James O’Barr. Bill Skarsgard (Pennywise in the IT movies) and pop star FKA twigs (HONEY BOY, 2019) play Eric and Shelly, the star-crossed lovers who meet at (and escape) drug rehab. Their freedom initially leads to some smooching and giggling and a shared bathtub and bed. Of course, things change for the doomed lovers quickly when she is reminded that some really bad people who work for a really bad man are trying to kill her.

The villain is played by the always-dependable Danny Huston, who has mastered reserved on-screen evil. His billionaire supernatural demon dude puts a hit out on Shelly because of an incriminating cell phone video. When his henchmen succeed in killing Shelly and Eric, the latter finds himself in purgatory learning lessons from Kronos (Sami Bouajila). It turns out the crow will guide Eric to put the wrong things right … which means brining Shelly back to life.

Eric’s afterlife revenge mission takes up most of the film, and violence is around every corner. You should know he is basically invincible, although he does feel pain. So those many bullet holes need to heal as quickly as possible. Eric goes goth (similar to what Brandon Lee did) and sports a black duster that would make Wyatt Earp and Blade envious. A beautiful Opera House serves as the setting for a John Wick-esque parade of violence and bodies … all synchronized to the stage production. We never really know why there are so many henchmen at the opera, but it allows the bullets to fly, the sword to swing, and the blood to flow.

The film clearly falls way short of a Marvel budget, but filming in Prague brings an element of interest with some previously unseen locales – a real plus for the film. It’s a gothic love story of revenge from beyond the grave, so the dark nature of the material is accompanied by some of the darkest lighting you’ll ever see in a movie (although not quite as much rain this time). To top it off, the crows that lead Eric are very cool. Let’s not kid ourselves, it’s a (very) messy movie, but it plays to its audience.

Opens in theaters on August 23, 2024

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Posted by David Ferguson

THE CLEAN UP CREW (2024)

August 20, 2024

Greetings again from the darkness. Even before the opening credits roll, we get a scene with gunpoint humor, as Antonio Banderas skips right over ‘chewing scenery’ and dives into devouring the scene. Banderas takes his crime lord Gabriel over-the-top, quoting Machiavelli, so that we understand we are in for an action-crime-comedy. Directed by Jon Keeyes and written by Matthew Rogers, some of it works and some of it doesn’t.

When the goal is strictly entertainment, a film should be judged accordingly, especially when it’s made under a limited budget. Three years after that opening scene, Gabriel is late on his payoff to the corrupt cops who protect his illegal business ventures, and soon enough, he discovers that a couple of over-zealous thugs have stolen (or at least tried to steal) his money. The case filled with cash is stuffed in the chimney before our next shootout, which occurs in a dark room, creating pretty cool effects.

Siobhan (Oscar winner Melissa Leo, THE FIGHTER, 2010) owns Good Life Cleaners, a crime scene cleaning company. Her crew consists of Alex (Jonathan Rhys Meyers, MATCH POINT, 2005), his girlfriend Meagan (Ekaterina Baker, THE CARD COUNTER, 2021), and Chuck (Swen Temmel, AMERICAN TRAITOR: THE TRIAL OF AXIS SALLY, 2021). When they discover the money, skittish Alex wants to turn it in. Meagan wants to keep it for their future. Siobhan and Chuck have their own secrets as she tries to keep the drug-addicted former military man on the right path.

Things really spiral once this crew begins debating what to do with the money and realizing that The Commission (Gabriel’s organization) is pursuing them. Meagan gets taken hostage, setting off a wild chain of events – most of which feature violent shootouts. In addition to Machiavelli quotes, Gabriel is also a fan of playing Russian roulette with his big, shiny pistol, and yelling at his crew to get his money back. It seems that Banderas and Meyers are the leads, but Temmel’s Chuck, a one-man wrecking crew, is the more intriguing character, and it’s a shame that Melissa Leo is mostly wasted, if not miscast here.

There is a sense that director Keeyes was going for a Guy Ritchie-type experience, however, the dialogue is never quite crackling enough for that level. The action has a bit of FREE FIRE (2016) feel to it, but again, not quite at that level. For one that’s entertaining enough to sit through, but also allows time to scroll on your phone, this one delivers.

Available on Digital and On Demand beginning August 20, 2024

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Posted by David Ferguson

THE INSTIGATORS (2024)

August 8, 2024

Greetings again from the darkness. Add this to the long list of films reminding us to temper our expectations and high hopes prior to viewing. Still, optimism seemed reasonable given an excellent director and strong cast. Director Doug Liman has delivered such entertaining films as SWINGERS (1996), THE BOURNE IDENTITY (2002), EDGE OF TOMORROW (2016), and this year’s remake of ROAD HOUSE (2024). Matt Damon and Casey Affleck both have Oscars on their mantels, and Hong Chau has a recent Oscar nomination. To top it off, the supporting cast includes such favorites as Jack Harlow, Alfred Molina, Michael Stuhlbarg, Andre De Shields, Ron Perlman, Toby Jones, Ving Rhames, and Paul Walter Hauser. All the pieces were in place. So, where’s the spark … the pizzazz … the fun?

The premise is promising enough. Former Marine Rory (Matt Damon) is a desperate man. He needs $32,480 to reboot his life – child support, alimony, mortgage, etc – so that he can reconnect with his son and watch him play hockey. When his therapist, Dr Donna Rivera (Hong Chau, THE WHALE, 2022) acknowledges his desperation, she asks, “Have you tried everything?” The next thing we know, somehow lowlife criminal Scalvo (Harlow) has teamed Rory with ex-con Cobby (Casey Affleck) for a job masterminded by Mr. Besegai (Stuhlbarg) and Mr. Dechico (Molina). The heist involves an election night fundraiser for corrupt incumbent Mayor Miccelli (Perlman) at the Boston Wharf. Along the way, we get a glimpse of Fenway Park, the famous Bobby Orr photograph, and a popular Patriot (the football kind).

Of course, the heist goes sideways … or whatever is worse than sideways for criminal activity … and an extended (i.e., entirely too long) car chase through downtown Boston plays out while Petula Clark croons “Downtown”, and Dr. Rivera is taken as a volunteer hostage who continues to pass along advice to her patient. Now for this to work, the action needs to be thrilling and the wit amongst the three participants in the car needs to be crackling. Neither of these occur.

The script was co-written by Chuck MacLean (“City on a Hill”) and co-star Casey Affleck, and it strives to be all things to all viewers … crime-thriller, buddy comedy, and action flick. It’s watchable, yet falls into that category we’ve come to dread: mostly forgettable. Even the ‘Butch and Sundance’ jokes fall flat. All of these talented folks will move along to their next projects, just as we will move along to the next movie. No harm/no foul.

Playing in select theaters and streaming on Apple TV+ beginning August 9, 2024

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Posted by David Ferguson

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