SPACEMAN (2024)

February 29, 2024

Greetings again from the darkness. Have you hugged a spider today? Adam Sandler has. Well, technically it’s his character who does the hugging. Jakub Prochazka, is a Czech astronaut 189 days into his year long mission. He’s flying solo on “the outskirts of Jupiter” to explore the Chopra cloud which is expected to reveal the beginning of time.  Honestly, it feels like a job worthy of more than one man, however, that’s what the source material provides. Based on the 2017 book “Spaceman of Bohemia” by Jaroslav Kalfar, Johan Renck directs the adapted screenplay by Colby Day. Mr. Renck is not one that jumps to mind when thinking of an Adam Sandler movie. His previous credits include the excellent mini-series “Chernobyl”, as well as multiple episodes of acclaimed series, “Breaking Bad” and “Bloodline”.

The reality is that Adam Sandler is a solid dramatic actor, as evidenced by his roles in PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE (2002), and more recently, THE MEYEROWITZ STORIES (2017) and UNCUT GEMS (2019). In fact, many of us much prefer heavy-drama Sandler to goofy-comedy Sandler. In this latest, he goes low-key extreme. In fact, Jakub is rapidly sinking into depression, though it has little to do with the loneliness and solitude of space. That’s right … it’s a woman. His pregnant wife, Lenka (the always stellar Carey Mulligan) is missing and won’t communicate with her galactic husband. We know what’s going on with her, but the mission Commander (Isabella Rossellini) refuses to tell Jakub due to his fragile mental state. On top of that, his deteriorating spacecraft is preventing him from sleeping properly.

Soon, that rickety old space toilet is the least of Jakub’s worries. He’s sharing the claustrophobic space with a giant talking spider. Jakub is unsure if this is a figment of his imagination or some alien creature. Passively voiced by Paul Dano, Hanus the arachnid initially appears to be a manifestation of Jakub’s subconscious, but as time goes on, it appears he’s a creature with knowledge of the universe. The low-key vocals from Jakub and Hanus don’t generate much excitement for us viewers, but the therapy Hanus provides, allows Jakub to better understand himself … and also drives Hanus to binge eat. There are no Sandler tantrums or screaming moments … instead his sad eyes and droopy face tell us much about Jakub.

Hanus calls Jakub “skinny human” so many times, it feels like that should be the film’s title. It gets old pretty quickly. Other supporting work comes from Kunal Nayyar as Jakub’s virtual doc, and Lena Olin as Lenka’s mother, although the film struggles to give anyone beyond Jakub much definition (including the underutilized Mulligan). It’s a bit baffling to look at this cast and associate them with the Czech Republic space program, but it’s Hollywood, where the 20-year age cap between Sandler and Mulligan also matters little. The film spent almost three years in post-production for reasons I don’t know, but it’s safe to say it’s one of the better talking spider movies you’ll see, yet not one of the finest lonely astronaut flicks.

Begins streaming on Netflix on March 1, 2024

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UPGRADED (2024)

February 9, 2024

Greetings again from the darkness. There is something to be said for ‘fake it ‘til you make it’, but most of us find bold-faced lying is a bit more difficult to root for. There is also something to be said for keeping to the familiar path, as therein lies safety. Adhering to the familiar is exactly what actress-turned-director Carlson Young has accomplished with the script from co-writers Christine Lenig, Luke Spencer Roberts, and Justin Matthews. We know where this is headed once we hear Anna interpret a piece of art she has mounted (without permission) in the small apartment her sister and (overly boisterous) brother-in-law have allowed her to stay since she’s in debt and without income.

Anna (Camila Mendes, “Riverdale) is chasing her dream of owning an art gallery, and has relocated to NYC for an internship at an art auction house run by dragon-boss Claire DuPont (Oscar winner Marisa Tomei in full Miranda Priestley mode). The Romantic Comedy formula kicks in pretty quickly as Anna gets a break at work and is invited to accompany Claire and her ‘mean girl’ minions to London for a big auction. Those minions (Fola Evans-Akingbola and Rachel Matthews) act as cruel stepmoms to Anna’s Cinderella. The required meet-cute happens after Anna’s titular upgrade to first class. While enjoying the airport spa, Anna accidentally dumps her Bloody Mary on rich boy Will’s high-dollar clothes and shoes.

Anna and Will (Archie Reneax, THE GREATEST BEER RUN EVER, 2022) are of course seated next to each other in first class for the transatlantic flight. It’s at this point where she chooses to avoid clarifying her role at the auction house, allowing Will (he’s rich and he adores kids!) to believe she’s the youngest Director in company history. This lie spirals as Anna weaves her way into the daily life of princely Will and his wealthy mom Catherine (Lena Olin, her must see film is THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING, 1988). Supporting work comes from Anthony Head as dead-by-design artist Julian Marx, and Thomas Kretschmann (KING KONG, 2005) as Arnold, the head of the company.

Every step of the story is predictable, and no apologies are necessary since this is precisely what fans of Hallmark Movies can’t get enough of. Ms. Mendes flashes the charm required for the role, and she’s surrounded by some other very talented folks. For those who prefer a bit more depth to characters and storylines, you likely already know this one’s not made for you. But for those who find pleasantry in the safe path with no surprise twists … a journey where the lovely liars get all the breaks since their heart is in the right place … this one’s for you.

Opens on February 9, 2024 on Prime Video

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