DEEP WATER (2022)

March 17, 2022

Greetings again from the darkness. Based on his work, arguments can be made on both sides. Director Adrian Lyne is either a staunch believer in monogamous marriages, or he enjoys mocking the concept altogether. Surprisingly, this is his first film in 20 years since UNFAITHFUL (2002). To refresh your memory, he’s also the force behind 9 ½ WEEKS (1986), FATAL ATTRACTION (1987), and INDECENT PROPOSAL (1993). Co-writers Zach Helm and Sam Levinson have adapted the script from the 1957 novel by Patricia Highsmith, who also wrote “The Talented Mr. Ripley” and “Strangers on a Train”.

Do you know I love you?” When one spouse feels the need to ask about love rather than declare it, you know it’s an unusual marriage. And in the category of unusual marriages, you’d be hard-pressed to find an arrangement more bizarre than the one between Vic (Ben Affleck) and Melinda (Ana de Armas). Thanks to real life public drama for Will Smith and Jada Pinkett, we all know that “open marriages” are a thing. But this with Vic and Melinda is neither fully “open” nor fully a marriage. Vic invented and sold a computer chip used in drones (mostly for warfare) and he’s so rich, that he’d rather watch his free-spirited wife drag home new boy-toys than give her an expensive divorce. But that’s as much explanation as we receive for what seems like a lose-lose-lose scenario. That third lose is for Melinda’s gentlemen friends who seem to mysteriously disappear once Vic becomes aware of them. One is gone before the movie even starts, and he’s followed by Jacob Elordi, Brandan Miller, and Finn Wittrock.

Perhaps the biggest mystery here is in deciding who displays more charisma, Affleck in this role or the snails that his character Vic breeds. We’ve joked about actors sleepwalking through roles before, but there are scenes here where that may actually be happening. Affleck mostly just dead-eyes Melinda and her men, though we are supposed to interpret his lack of expression as a combination of anger, jealousy, and lust. Fortunately, we have Ana de Armas to liven things up. She’s a full-grown party girl going through various stages of designer dress and un-dress. The supporting cast is comprised of Dash Mihok, Lil Rey Howery (who is in every movie these days), Kristen Connolly, Grace Jenkins as the smarter-than-parents kid to Vic and Melinda, and Tracy Letts as a curious novelist constantly side-eyeing Vic as research for a new book.

Is it cheesy? Yes. Is it sleazy? Yes. Despite twenty years of no movies, director Lyne delivers another high-gloss, play-pretend trashy erotic thriller that will fit perfectly in the streaming world. Affleck disappoints here after strong turns in THE TENDER BAR (2021) and THE WAY BACK (2020), and Ms. de Armas will next appear as Marilyn Monroe in BLONDE. Ben and Ana had their tabloid moment as a romantic couple after filming, but she is now the gone girl, and he has since reunited with JoLo. There are too many gaps in the story and characters for this to be considered a serious movie, but it’s sure to be entertaining enough for many.

Premiers on HULU beginning March 18, 2022

WATCH THE TRAILER


THE CABIN IN THE WOODS (2011)

April 22, 2012

 Greetings again from the darkness. Well I was not ready for the horror/zombie/slasher genre to be turned on its ear, but that’s exactly what co-writers Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard (also director) have done here. Rest assured that your favorite aspects of horror films will be lampooned, or at least parodied. There are times you will jump and laugh simultaneously, but mostly I found myself checking off the influences/targets of the filmmakers.

There is no way to comment on this film without offering up spoilers, and I will not do that. What I can tell you is that you’ll be reminded of films such as Scream, Friday the 13th, Bubba Ho-Tep, Night of the Living Dead, The Evil Dead, Saw, and dare I say, elements of the classic TV series The Twilight Zone … you know the parts where you know there is more going on than you are seeing, but you can’t quite put it all together.

 The movie starts out with a tongue-in-cheek assembly of generic characters from most horror films: the fun-loving jock (Chris Hemsworth, pre-Thor), the “bad” girl (Anna Hutchison), the “good” girl (Kristen Connolly), the brainiac (Jesse Williams), and of course the comic relief stoner waxing philosophical (a very effective Fran Kranz). This group piles into a borrowed RV and heads to the cabin. And yes, we get the obligatory stop at the run down gas station manned by the straight-from-Deliverance attendant played by tobacco-spitting Tim De Zarn.

 We learn quickly that something odd is going on and our heroes are really playthings in some kind of cosmic game being conducted at an underground lab run by Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford. That much is shown in the trailer and that’s the end of what I will say. After that, the choice is yours … just like in the basement.

I have no idea whether to recommend this movie, and if so, to whom.  The last 15 minutes are pure mayhem, and you will either be fully onboard with this Disneyland ride gone bad, or you will have wanted to leave for the past hour. Filmed three years ago, but caught up in studio legalities, the movie was selected for opening night at SXSW and it truly is a twisted, even demented jab at all things horror. Only you can decide what comes next.

SEE THIS MOVIE IF: your twisted, demented movie-watching personality has made you a horror/zombie/slasher expert and you don’t mind Whedon and Goddard poking a little fun at your genre … just don’t blame me.

SKIP THIS MOVIE IF: I didn’t just describe you in the “See” section

watch this trailer … or don’t, if you are planning to see the movie: